[Simon Cowell is the judge at a rap freestyle battle]
Simon Cowell: I thought they were both absolutely dreadful. Ghastly. I don't know what I'm doing here. This club is totally pathetic.
[Rappers pull out handguns and shoot him]
[re: the killer video]
Cindy: And it's been circulating and killing ever since.
The Architect: Just like Pootie Tang.
Cindy: I'm looking for something more than just good sex.
Brenda Meeks: I know. You want commitment.
Cindy: No, I want great sex.
George: [at Brenda's funeral] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You?
Cindy: Brenda was my bitch.
[flying saucers appear in the sky]
President Harris: Ah, good. The Air Force is here with those new round planes.
Secret Serviceman Jones: We don't have round planes, sir.
Trooper Champlin: Your faith will return. Just as sure as the sun will rise.
Tom: Sounds like a long shot.
Tabitha: [turns from a monster into a little girl] Thank you all. Your love has freed my soul. I won't have to kill again.
Cindy: Really?
Tabitha: [turns back into a monster and pulls out a knife] I'm just screwin' with ya!
Mr. Meeks: These just came today. Photos from a trip she took.
[passes them to Cindy]
Cindy: [Cindy flicks through photos] They're blank.
Mrs. Meeks: Turn them around, honey.
Cindy: Oh.
Mrs. Meeks: My sweet, sweet Brenda. She looks so peaceful.
[Cindy looks down at Brenda's body]
Mrs. Meeks: [Brenda's face is messed up and her hand are up like claws]
Mahalik: Yo George, you need something? I'll do anything for you... ANYTHING...
George: Family, that's just what I've been running away from
President Harris: Well, that's because you're an idiot.
[President Harris grabs a kid with braces]
President Harris: Good God, the small ones have metal teeth! Jerry's Kids, my ass.
[headbutts the kid]
Sayaman: [after mortally injuring Tom's wife in a car crash] Tom, I'll need a ride home.
