[Darius approaches Kenneth, where he is stocking soup cans in the Grocery Outlet Bargain Market. She acts cool and nonchalant]
Darius: Do you sell guns here?
Kenneth: [surprised] What kind of guns?
Darius: I don't know. Something sexy and affordable, with killing power?
Kenneth: You should try C and R
Guns in Wilkins. The state of Washington does not allow the sale of firearms in the business premises of a grocer.
Darius: Hm. What about those... thingies? With the spiky ball on the end of a chain things, you know, and the...
[She pantomimes whirling a flail around above her head]
Darius: You have those?
Kenneth: What
exactly is the intended use? Is there a pest problem, or hunting?
Darius: [sternly] Well, if your ad had been written properly, I may have a better idea of what I need.
Kenneth: My ad?
Darius: Yeah. It's pretty sloppy.
Kenneth: Excuse me?
Darius: You heard me. I hope you worked
harder on your calibrations.
Kenneth: [looking around cautiously, but sounding stung] My calibrations are flippin' pinpoint, okay?
Darius: Hm.
Kenneth: [still looking around and behind him] There are people after me. How do I know you don't work for them?
Darius: Because I've never worked for anybody in
my life.
Kenneth: You ever face certain death?
Darius: If it was so certain, I wouldn't be here, would I?
[She takes a soup can from his hand and places it, without looking, unerringly in its spot on the shelf]
Arnau: Stormtroopers don't know anything about lasers or time-travel. They're blue-collar workers.
Darius: What makes you think he won't slam the door in my face, too?
Jeff: Because you gotta be sincere and charming. Okay? He's used to assholes like me coming and making fun.
Arnau: Uh, also, probably none of the other people were beautiful girls.
Jeff: [with a sideways look] Easy, Arnau.
Arnau: What?
Jeff: He's right. Use that too. There's something off about this guy, okay? So you gotta go slow, like you're trapping a skittish animal. Now, lure him. Play coy. Girls know how to do that shit.
Darius: You're dangling my vagina out there like bait. What if this guy's a murderer? What if he cuts me up into little pieces
and eats me?
Jeff: Then the story's even better.
Darius: [over-answering a job interview question] In high school I felt like that mouse that gets dropped in the snake cage and just sits there, frozen, trying to blend in. I guess I remember being happy when I was a kid. Back when you just naturally expect good things to happen. Before my mom died.
Kenneth: I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.
Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.
Mr. Britt: You're sad. I don't know how to describe it. It's like there's a cloud following you. You're antisocial, and you're a virgin.
Darius: What?
Mr. Britt: I don't ever see you with any guys. I don't remember the last time you brought a guy home.
Darius: Yeah, well, how do you know I'm not on Craigslist,
having casual encounters? Or when I was away at the dorms? You weren't there.
Mr. Britt: I've talked to Amy.
Darius: Why are you talking to my college roommate?
Mr. Britt: We're Facebook friends.
Darius: Oh, my God. How do I eject?
Darius: What time would you go back to? If you could.
Arnau: I don't know. I'm fine here.
Darius: I would definitely go back. Everything cool is gone. The Aztecs. People killing themselves for each other. You wouldn't want to see the dragons and the elves, fighting each other in the magical forests? Come on!
Arnau: No.
[He puts his hand on her shoulder kindly]
Arnau: That wasn't a time.
Darius: [Rolls her eyes] Yeah. Right.
Jeff: You never done coke or anything, when you're studying for an exam?
Arnau: Cocaine? Are you crazy?
Jeff: What is it you study?
Arnau: Biological and life sciences.
Jeff: Makes sense. So what are you doing, interning at a magazine?
Arnau: Diversity looks good
on an application for grad school.
Jeff: You know what, we gotta get you laid on this vacation. That's what's gotta happen.
Darius: Vacation?
Jeff: I mean, work trip. Whatever.
Jeff: [after Kenneth steals some lasers] Fuckin' lasers?
Arnau: What kind of lasers?
Darius: I don't know, I'm not a freakin' storm trooper.
Kenneth: While I would like to maneuver through this world with an open heart and mind, sometimes it doesn't gain you favor. So I just need to be equipped with the necessary skill sets, guns, training, weapons, fighting - in case I encounter any obstacles that need to be defeated.
[Still at the grocery store:]
Kenneth: This is a bad place to talk. I get off in, like, fifteen. Rendezvous?
Darius: [confident but still cool] See you in eight.
[She turns to walk away, but whirls suddenly to toss him a soup can he had not realized she had taken. Kenneth looks at it; she has written her phone number in strong black ink across
a white space on the label. Kenneth's face is hard, but he is clearly impressed; he thinks he has found his partner]
Darius: [referring to Kenneth] What makes you think there's something wrong with him?
Jeff: Because he thinks he can go back in time.
Darius: Was there something wrong with Einstein or David Bowie?
[Darius joins Jeff and Arnau in the motel lounge bar, where Jeff has shown Arnau how to Facebook friend an old girlfriend of Jeff's]
Jeff: Here she is. Look at you, you went all rogue. What did you get?
Darius: Got his name, where he works.
Jeff: Great.
Darius: What did you guys get?
[Jeff points
to the Facebook page]
Jeff: She accepted, but, uh, no photos, so I'm not really sure.
Darius: What?
Arnau: He came here to hook up with an old high school girlfriend.
Darius: [scornful] Seriously? That's what you've been doing?
Jeff: Well, I've been doing other stuff, too, but.
[Jeff takes a sheet of photos out of his pocket, with bravado]
Jeff: Maybe this will change your attitude a little bit. That's her. When she was 18, and I used to see her naked.
Darius: So?
Jeff: So I'm coming back to try to see her naked again.
Darius: I'd be weirded out if some guy tried to
track me down after 20 years.
Jeff: I'd be weirded out, too, if some guy tried to track you down.
Darius: Why?
Jeff: Who would do that?