Rushmore Quotes

Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: We're putting you on what we call sudden death academic probation.
Max Fischer: And what does that entail?
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: It entails that if you fail another class, you'll be asked to leave Rushmore.
Max Fischer: In other words, I'll be expelled.
Dr. Nelson

Guggenheim: That's correct.
Max Fischer: Can I see some documentation on that, please?
[Guggenheim hands him his transcript]
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: Too many extracurricular activities, Max. Not enough studying
Max Fischer: Dr. Guggenheim, I don't want to tell you how to do your job. But the fact is, no matter

how hard I try, I still might flunk another class. If that means I have to stay on for a post-graduate year, so be it...
Dr. Nelson Guggenheim: - We don't offer a post-graduate year.
Max Fischer: Well, we don't offer it yet.

[first lines]
Student: If, and only if, both sides of the numerator is divisible by the inverse of he square root of the two unassigned variable.
School Professor: Good. Except when the value of the "X" coordinate is equal to or less than the value of one. Yes Isaac?
Student: What about *that* problem?
School

Professor: Oh, that? Don't worry about that.
Student: Wait. Why?
School Professor: I just put that up as a joke. That's probably the hardest geometry equation in the world.
Student: Well, how much extra credit is it worth?
School Professor: Well, considering I've never seen anyone get it right,

including my mentor Dr. Leaky at MIT, I guess if anyone here can solve that problem, I'd see to it that none of you ever have to open another math book again for the rest of your lives.

Max Fischer: What was your major?
Rosemary Cross: I didn't have a major, but my thesis was on Latin American economic policy.
Max Fischer: Oh, that's interesting. Did you hear that they're not going to teach Latin anymore?
Rosemary Cross: This was more like Central America.
Max Fischer:

Oh, Central American what-not.

[in a letter to Max]
Dirk Calloway: Dear Max, I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Miss Cross. My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house. And then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front

porch.

Max Fischer: Thay are going to cancel Latin. They've got to make room for Japanese.
Rosemary Cross: Well that's a shame because all the Romance languages are based on Latin.
Max Fischer: Yeah, they are, aren't they.
Rosemary Cross: Nihilo sanctum estne?
Max Fischer: What's that? Oh,

it's Latin. What does that mean?
Rosemary Cross: Is nothing sacred?