Kuzzik: Lets get ready to dance... with swords!
Wheeler: Did you know that bald eagles are known to engage in a bizarre mating ritual where two eagles fly upwards, lock talons, and fall towards the earth while rotating, separating almost before they crash into the ground, if and only if they consummate their bird fuck. If they don't, they are willing to accept their death by hard ground. It's the ultimate race against the
clock.
Augie Farks: Why are you telling me this?
Wheeler: Why would I not?
Danny: [while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.
Ronnie Shields: [Ronnie sees a "KISS" pinball machine] Who are these clowns?
Wheeler: KISS? You don't know who KISS is?
Ronnie Shields: No, never heard of them. They look like idiots to me.
Wheeler: No, no, no, dude, these are four of the smartest guys who ever lived. They're these Jewish guys who grew up in
New York, and they put on guitars and makeup to get girls, and all their songs are about fucking.
Ronnie Shields: I'm listening.
Wheeler: ["Love Gun" starts playing on the stereo] Seriously, this song is called "Love Gun" and it's about Paul Stanley's dick and how this girl's gonna get some of his dick
Ronnie Shields: Cool. I
didn't know Jews could sing like that.
Wheeler: No, no, they couldn't at the time. That's why they had to dress like clowns.
Ronnie Shields: This got them girls?
Wheeler: Get this: they've been getting pussy non-stop for 30 years. They're probably fucking right now and they're old dudes! They put makeup on and it's all good!
Ronnie Shields: No, shit!
Wheeler: [singing] You pulled the trigger on my love gun! See Ronnie, his dick is the gun!
Wheeler: You sexy like a chocolate strawberry.
Danny: Eight hours down, 142 to go.
Wheeler: This sucks ass.
Danny: Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right? Give me a fucking break.