Humpty Dumpty: First rule of Bean Club, don't talk about Bean Club. The second rule of Bean Club... don't talk about Bean Club.
Kitty Softpaws: [to Puss] You hit me in the head with a guitar!
Crazy Woman: [beats up Puss] Chupacabra! Chupacabra! Chupacabra!
Puss in Boots: You are a crazy woman!
[from trailer]
Kitty Softpaws: [to Puss, wearing his hat] I'll steal you blind, and you'll never even know I was there!
[an annoyed Puss grabs his hat back]
Kitty Softpaws: [In a calm voice] You owe me.
Puss in Boots: I owe you?
Kitty Softpaws: [starts to flirt with Puss] Uh-huh. You hit me in the head with a guitar.
Puss in Boots: I, uh, regret the guitar.
Kitty Softpaws: Okay, I forgive you.
[Taking Puss' bag of money]
Kitty Softpaws: [sing-song voice] Someone forgot his money!
Puss in Boots: Don't make the cat angry...
Jill: Ever since you fell down that hill and broke your crown, you have been talking crazy.
Puss in Boots: Señorita, wait! Let me buy you some leche! I am a lover, not a - fighter.
Puss in Boots: What can I say? I was a bad kitty.
[first lines]
Puss in Boots: Through the years, I have been known by many names. Diablo Gato. The Furry Lover. Chupacabra. Friskie Two-Times. And the Ginger Hit Man. But to most - I am Puss In Boots! Outlaw.
Puss in Boots: It was a year in which the rain had not fallen. The wind was big and the basket was small. For days, I bounced along, a hungry little kitten with no milk, no mama, and no litter box.
Humpty Dumpty: What's your name? You don't say much, do you? I think I'll call you Sparky. Whiskers? Zoltar! How about Puss?
Puss in Boots: I smell something familiar. Something - dangerous. Something - breakfasty.
Humpty Dumpty: It's been a long time, brother.
Puss in Boots: Maldito huevo.
Humpty Dumpty: Please don't spin me. Do not spin me! Not again! No! I'm gonna yolk!
Puss in Boots: There is one teeny, tiny, itty-bitty problem.
Kitty Softpaws: And what is that?
Puss in Boots: You work for the egg!
Kitty Softpaws: Oh, come on, Puss.
Jill: You're gonna pay for this! Soul-sucking cats!
Humpty Dumpty: I'm cracked! We got red beans, green beans, coffee beans, lima beans, but, no magic beans.
Puss in Boots: Would you care for a jelly bean?
Puss in Boots: How strange it was to give a cat boots; but, whoa, I looked good.
Humpty Dumpty: OK, yeah, I get it now. You get some fancy boots and now you're too good for me?
