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Reynolds Woodcock: Kiss me, my girl, before I'm sick.

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Alma: I want you flat on your back. Helpless, tender, open with only me to help. And then I want you strong again. You're not going to die. You might wish you're going to die, but you're not going to. You need to settle down a little.

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Reynolds Woodcock: The tea is going out. The interruption is staying right here with me.

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Cyril: Don't pick a fight with me, you certainly won't come out alive. I'll go right through you and it'll be you who ends up on the floor. Understood?

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Reynolds Woodcock: It's comforting to think the dead are watching over the living. I don't find that spooky at all.

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Alma: Mrs. Vaughan is satisfied with the dress.
Reynolds Woodcock: No one gives a tinker's fucking curse about Mrs. Vaughan's satisfaction!

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Reynolds Woodcock: [to the vision of his mother] Are you here? Are you always here? I miss you. I think about you all the time. I hear your voice say my name when I dream and when I wake up, there are tears streaming down my face. I just miss you, it's as simple as that. I want to tell you everything. I don't understand what you're saying. I can't hear your voice.

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Reynolds Woodcock: Marriage would make me deceitful and I don't ever want that.

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[first lines]
Alma: Reynolds has made my dreams come true. And I have given him what he desires most in return.
Dr. Robert Hardy: And what's that?
Alma: Every piece of me.
Dr. Robert Hardy: He's a very demanding man, isn't he? Must be quite a challenge to be with him.
Alma: Yes.

Maybe he is the most demanding man.

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Reynolds Woodcock: What a model of politeness you two are.

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Alma: You see, to be in love with him makes life no great mystery.

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Reynolds Woodcock: What the hell is it about? Are you a special agent sent here to ruin my evening and possibly my entire life?
Alma: Why are you so rude to me? Why are you talking to me like this?
Reynolds Woodcock: Is this my house? This is my house, isn't it! Is this my house?
Alma: Yes, this is your house.

Of course, it's your house!
Reynolds Woodcock: Or did somebody drop me on foreign soil behind enemy lines? I'm surrounded on all sides!
Alma: What a question! You brought me here! It's you who brought me here.
Reynolds Woodcock: When the hell did this happen? Who are you? Do you have a gun? You're here to kill me?

Alma: [quietly] Why are you doing this?
Reynolds Woodcock: Hm, do you have a gun?
Alma: Stop it!
Reynolds Woodcock: Where's your gun?
Alma: Stop being a child.
Reynolds Woodcock: Where's your gun?
Alma: Stop...
Reynolds

Woodcock: Show me your gun.
Alma: ...playing. Stop playing this game.
Reynolds Woodcock: I'm not playing a game.
Alma: I'm not... Yes, mm-hmm. Uh-huh.
Reynolds Woodcock: What game am I playing? What game? What precisely is the nature of my game? You tell me.
Alma: Oh,

this whole...
Reynolds Woodcock: What?
Alma: All your rules and your walls and your doors and your people and your money and all this clothes and everything! This! This! This game! Everything here! The whole "pfff"! Nothing is normal or natural or... everything is a game! "Yes, mister! No, madam!" "Yes, uh... vu-vu-poo!" "I don't eat this! I don't

drink that, I don't..."
Reynolds Woodcock: Well, if, if it's my, if it's my life that you're describing, it's entirely up to you whether you choose to share it or not. If you don't wish to share that life as apparently it's so disagreeable to you in every respect, why don't you just fuck off to back where you came from?
Alma: [quietly] Fuck you!

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Johanna: Where have you gone, Reynolds. There's nothing I can say to get your attention aimed back at me, is there?
Reynolds Woodcock: I cannot begin my day with a confrontation, please. I'm delivering the dress today, and I can't take up space with confrontation. I simply don't have time for confrontations.

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[last lines]
Alma: [voice-over] Sometimes I jump ahead in our life together, and I see a time near the end. I can predict the future, and everything is settled. And all our lovers and children and friends come back and are welcome. And we have large gatherings where everyone is laughing and playing games. I am older and I see things differently, and I finally understand

you. I take care of your dresses, keeping them from dust and ghosts and time.
Reynolds Woodcock: Yes, but right now we're here.
Alma: Yes, of course we are.
Reynolds Woodcock: And I'm getting hungry.

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[from trailer]
Alma: If you want to have a staring contest with me, you will lose.
[long pause]
Reynolds Woodcock: [laughs]

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Reynolds Woodcock: To keep my sour heart from choking. To break a curse. A house that doesn't change is a dead house.

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Cyril: And who is this lovely creature making the house smell so nice?

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Alma: For the hungry boy, my name is Alma.

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Cyril: She's getting fat sitting around waiting for you to fall in love with her again.

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Alma: It's no business of ours what Mrs. Rose decides to do with her life but she can no longer behave like this and be dressed by the House of Woodcock.