Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Trisha: I wanted to thank you for the beautiful drawing you did of me.
[through gritted teeth]
Trisha: It's hanging in my *bedroom*.
Napoleon Dynamite: Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
Trisha: Yeah... it's

really... neat.

Uncle Rico: I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
Uncle Rico: I'm gonna tell you somethin' right now. While you're out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin' 120 bucks.
[pulls a check out of his shirt pocket]

Napoleon Dynamite: I could make that much money in five seconds!
Kip: Geez. Yeah right, Napoleon. I made, like, 75 bucks today.
Uncle Rico: Napoleon, it's looks like you don't have a job. So why don't you get out there and feed Tina.
Napoleon Dynamite: Why don't you go eat a decroded piece of crap!

Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn't tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I'm not goin' anywhere,

Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It's a free country. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!

Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody's going to go out with *me*!
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like numchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking

skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!
Pedro: Aren't you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes... Probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.

Napoleon Dynamite: That's a pretty good idea.

Kip: I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days.
Uncle Rico: Yeah, well what does she look like?
Kip: She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda T.O.'d because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot

yet.

[Napoleon answers the door and Deb is standing out there]
Deb: Um, hello. Would you like to look like this?
[holds out a photo]
Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon takes the photo and looks at it] This is a girl.
Deb: [Deb continues nervously] Because for a limited time only, Glamour Shots by Deb are 75% off.

Napoleon Dynamite: I already get my hair cut at the Cuttin' Corral.
Deb: Well, maybe you'd be interested in some home-woven handicrafts?
[Scene continues after Rex Kwon Do TV ad Kip's watching]
Deb: ... And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season's fashion.
Napoleon

Dynamite: I already made like infinity of those at scout camp.

Starla: [stops reading the 'Bust Must' testimonial] I don't feel comfortable reading this.
Uncle Rico: Oh, that's fine, that's fine. But do you feel comfortable with me?
[Rex drives up outside the home]
Uncle Rico: [getting down two sauce pans from above the kitchen sink] You could be... somewhere around... here

[positions the pots in front of her breasts]
Rex: [walks in and sees what Rico's up to. He pounds his fist into his other hand] Come here, boy!
[from outside the home, we hear Rico drop the pans, and commotion as Rex teaches him a lesson, and Rico yelping in pain]