Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: [sees Young Agent O] O? No, I call ladies "O." To me O is feminine, and K is masculine. You know, I see a couple, I'm like, "O-K."

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent K: Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[J is held by two 1969 cops]
Agent J: Look man, I have my rights, and I demand to see a lawyer before you press the red button on that device!
[the cops neuralyze themselves]
Agent J: That was a standard grade neuralyzer, but you're not going to remember that. Keep in mind, just because you see a black man driving a car, does not mean he stole

it!
[pause]
Agent J: OK, I did steal this one - but not because I'm black.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Young Agent K: Look, slick, seeing I live past this, can you tell me whether me and O...?
Agent J: A wise man told me once: don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
Young Agent K: I said that, didn't I?

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Griffin: A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent K: Do you know the most destructive force in the universe?
Agent J: Sugar?
Agent K: Regret.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent K: You are suspended for two weeks.
Agent J: Bullshit.
Agent K: Four weeks.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[last lines]
Griffin: This is my NEW favourite moment in human history... unless this is the one where K forgets to leave a tip...
[sees a meteor about to hit the Earth in the distant future]
Agent K: Almost forgot...
[leaves a tip - a satellite appears and collides with the meteor, rendering the Earth safe]

Griffin: That was a close one!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: My daddy gave me this watch, it was the only thing he ever did as I never saw him while growing up...
Agent K: Don't badmouth your old man.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: Damn it! We had him!
Young Agent K: Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
Agent J: First of all, my name is J, okay? It's not "son," it's not "slick," and it damn sure ain't "Cochise." And I'm not gonna relax 'cause we're running out of time, we're running out of clues and there's an invasion coming. You're not really recognizing

my "voicial" intensity. Oh, but there was one guy that could help. Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin? Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K? He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we, that's no bueno.
Young Agent K: We need pie.
Agent J: What?
Young Agent K: My granddaddy always said: "If you got a problem you can't solve, it

helps to get out of your head." Pie. It's good.
Agent J: Pie?
Young Agent K: Yeah.
Agent J: Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
Young Agent K: A little bit.
Agent J: Yeah, you know what? We've been doing smart stuff. We've been following clues, doing real police work. It might be time

we do something stupid. Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing. You know what? Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie. Let's go get some dumb-ass pie.
Young Agent K: Sounds good.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Griffin: There's no other way for this to work, K has to be the one to go. K is the only one who can save the world.
Agent J: If he does this, is there ANY future where he lives?
Griffin: Yes. But where there is death, there will always be death.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Griffin: The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[from trailer]
Agent J: I'm looking for K, have you seen him? Sort of a surly, older gentleman, smiles like this...
[J makes a poker face]
Agent O: K's been dead for over forty years.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Young Agent K: [punches J] That's for lying to me!
[punches J again]
Young Agent K: That's for telling me the truth!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[Boris meets his younger self in 1969]
Boris The Animal: You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh, I would kill you now if I didn't value my own life!
Boris The Animal: Who are you?
Boris The Animal: Look at you! Every mistake I ever made, just waiting to happen!
Boris The Animal: What happened to my arm?


Boris The Animal: You lose it, shot off by a human!
Boris The Animal: No human can defeat me!
Boris The Animal: You spend the next forty years in prison, chained up like an animal!
Boris The Animal: There is no prison that can hold me!
Boris The Animal: They built one specially

for us, on the moon!
Boris The Animal: The humans haven't been to the moon, so they cannot have built it there already!
Boris The Animal: Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that, if you just listen to me!
Boris The Animal: YOU were defeated! YOU let it get shot off! That wasn't me, that was YOU!
[Both Borises roar at

each other]

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[the crew of Apollo 11 are watching the fight between on the launch tower between the agents and bad guys]
Buzz Aldrin: If we report this, they're going to scrub the launch.
Neil Armstrong: [Passively] I didn't see anything.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Agent J: You're gonna lose!
Boris The Animal: Let's agree to disagree!

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

Young Agent K: Who are you, and what do you know?
Agent J: I'm an agent of Men in Black, but I'm from the future. We're partners, twenty-five years from now you're going to recruit me. And 14 years after, the guy you DIDN'T let me kill at Coney Island he escapes from prison, and jumps back in the past and unleashes a full-scale invasion of Earth. We have

about 19 hours to catch him and kill him, so really we need to go right now!
Young Agent K: [deadpan] All right.

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[a tasered J wakes up in 1969 MIB headquarters]
Agent J: You need to turn the electricity on that damn thing. I can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
Young Agent K: How do you know my name?

Men in Black 3
Men in Black 3

[from trailer]
Agent J: I know what you're thinking: MIB, 3-D, we're going to be blowing stuff up and all that. But that's not really what we're doing right now. We're here for one purpose, and for one purpose only: Just to let you know that I'm about to make 3-D look good.