Andy Kaufman: See, I don't want to go for cheap laughs. I want real gut reactions. I want the audience to have gone through an experience. They love me, they hate me, they walk out. It's all great.
Angry Woman: [slapping him on the face] And this is for my mother, and this is for my father! And this is for my grand father!
Andy Kaufman: I hope you have a small family.
Andy Kaufman: What do... What do we do now?
Bob Zmuda: Now you pick.
Andy Kaufman: But what if I... hurt somebody's feelings?
Bob Zmuda: It's my buddy's first time with a prostitute.
Madame: What are you talkin' about? Andy comes here almost every weekend.
George Shapiro: So what do you have here? A big, elaborate joke that's only funny to two people in the universe... you and you.
Andy Kaufman: [to Jerry Lawler] I did not agree to wrestle you! I did not agree! This is assault and battery, and I'm gonna get a team of lawyers to sue you... and your children and your children's children.
Lynne Margulies: Is it an act? Or are you just addicted to causing trouble?
Andy Kaufman: I can quit anytime I want, baby!
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Right. Everything's a joke to this guy. Just like that thing. I don't know if that's a neck brace or a flea collar.
Andy Kaufman: I just... I think of the world as, as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously.
Andy Kaufman: I feel like I'm being surrounded by negative energy.
George Shapiro: You're surrounded by what you create. Andy, you're the king of negative energy.
Bob Zmuda: All right. Which one?
Andy Kaufman: I will have both! I will have this fraulein und the one with the big strudels.
Ring Announcer: And introducing, at 191 pounds, the holder of the world intergender championship, here is Andy Kaufman!
