32 Man on the Moon Quotes (2026)

Man on the Moon

George Shapiro: Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?

Man on the Moon

George Shapiro: You're insane, but you might also be brilliant.

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: You don't know the real me.
Lynne Margulies: There isn't a real you.
Andy Kaufman: Oh yeah, I forgot.

Man on the Moon

Tony Clifton: So... ya wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?

Man on the Moon

Lynne Margulies: So, you just pretend to be an asshole.
Andy Kaufman: It's what I'm good at.

Man on the Moon

Tony Clifton: I would like to use the phone!
Security Guard: Not on the lot, sir.
Tony Clifton: How about a bathroom? I may have shit my pants.
Security Guard: [shakes head]
Tony Clifton: Drink of water?
Security Guard: No.
Tony Clifton: Aspirin?
Security Guard: No.

Tony Clifton: Moist towelette?
Security Guard: No.
Tony Clifton: In that case, it has been an honor! And good day!

Man on the Moon

[first lines]
Andy Kaufman: [as Foreign Man] Hello. I am Andy and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie. I wish it was *better*, you know, but... it is so stupid! It's terrible! I do not even like it. All of the most important things in my life are changed around and mixed up for dramatic purposes. So, I decided to cut out all of the baloney! Now the movie is

much *shorter*.
[pause]
Andy Kaufman: In fact, this is the end of the movie. Thank you very much.

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: Since you've all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me.

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: [as Foreign Man] I am from Caspiar, an Island in the Caspian Sea. It sunk.

Man on the Moon

Jerry "The King" Lawler: Kaufman, did you come here to wrestle or act like an ass?

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: I am sick of this shit, Lawler. I am gonna sue you. I'm gonna sue you, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, you, you are a motherfucking, fucking asshole! Okay?

Man on the Moon

[At a meeting with the NBC executives]
George Shapiro: Andy Kauffman is Tony Clifton. And Tony Clifton is Andy Kauffman. They'll deny it up and down, but believe me, it's true!

Man on the Moon

Tony Clifton: I think you sat in some cottage cheese. Oh, pardon me, that's your ass.

Man on the Moon

George Shapiro: Your material doesn't exactly transfer to film.

Man on the Moon

Tony Clifton: I got 20 bucks that says you work for me now!

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: I'm going to the Philippines.
George Shapiro: The Philippines? What's in the Philippines?
Andy Kaufman: A miracle.

Man on the Moon

Andy Kaufman: I hate sitcoms, George. They're just... stupid jokes... and canned laughter! And you don't know why it's there, but it's there. And... and that's DEAD people laughing! Did you know that? Those people are dead!

Man on the Moon

[Andy is spending his spare time from Taxi as a busboy at a local diner; two guys spot him]
Blue Collar Guy: Hey! Hey! Excuse me. Are you Andy Kaufman?
Andy Kaufman: I get that all the time.

Man on the Moon

[Tony is mocking people who came to see his show]
Tony Clifton: How you doing? You enjoying the show?
Bob Zmuda: [nervously] Yeah.
Tony Clifton: What's your name?
Bob Zmuda: Bob.
Tony Clifton: Bob?
[mockingly]
Tony Clifton: Bob! What's your last

name, "Up-and-down-in-the-water"?
Bob Zmuda: Gorsky.
Tony Clifton: Gorsky? That Polish?
Bob Zmuda: Yeah.
Tony Clifton: You trying to do Polish humor?
Bob Zmuda: No, that's...
Tony Clifton: SHUT UP!
Bob Zmuda: That's just my name.