[after receiving the wrong order at the drive-thru]
Leo Getz: They fuck you at the drive-thru, okay? They fuck you at the drive-thru! They know you're gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked! They know you're not gonna turn around and go back, they don't care. So who gets fucked? Ol' Leo Getz! Okay, sure! I don't give a fuck! I'm not eating this tuna, okay?
Roger Murtaugh, Martin Riggs: Shut up!
[Roger is sitting on a boobytrapped toilet]
Roger: Why didn't they plant the bomb in Trish's stove?
Riggs: Yeah. Think of all the needless suffering that could've ended there!
[both laugh]
Roger: I'm gonna die on a toilet, aren't I?
Riggs: Guys like you don't die on toilets.
Martin Riggs: [a smoking Riggs and Murtaugh have been assigned to guard Leo] This stinks!
Capt. Murphy: I don't give a fuck, Riggs. That's why I don't have an ulcer, because I know when to say "I don't give a fuck."
[They go to leave]
Capt. Murphy: And Riggs.
Capt. Murphy: What?
[Murphy throws
Riggs a desktop no smoking sign]
Capt. Murphy: You know what that says?
Martin Riggs: Yeah, the same thing as that.
[Points to a no smoking sign on the door]
Martin Riggs: But I don't give a fuck.
[Riggs throws the sign back at Murphy, then leaves. Murphy and Murtaugh look at each other]
Roger
Murtaugh: You're lucky. I have to live with that.
[after the envoys states that Murtaugh can't go to South Africa because he's black]
Roger Murtaugh: Of course I'm black. That's why I want to go to South Africa.
Roger Murtaugh: [louder and more militant] To join my oppressed brothers as they take up the struggle against this racist, fascist, White Minority Regime!
Leo Getz:
Fascist White Regime!
Roger Murtaugh: One man, one vote!
Leo Getz: One man, one vote!
Roger Murtaugh: [Very loud] FREE SOUTH AFRICA you *dumb son of a bitch*!
Leo Getz: You *dumb son of a bitch*!
Consulate Envoy: Alright, I've had as much as I'm going to take! GET OUT!
[Security tries to remove Getz and Murtaugh, resuting in a full scale riot inside and outside the Consulate]
[about to pull Murtaugh off the booby-trapped toilet]
Martin Riggs: On three, what do ya say?
Roger Murtaugh: Okay.
Martin Riggs: One... two...
Roger Murtaugh: Wait, wait, wait!
Martin Riggs: What?
Roger Murtaugh: Do we do it on three? Or one, two, three,
then do it?
Martin Riggs: It's your ass, Cochise!
Roger Murtaugh: My ass, yeah. On three.
Martin Riggs: We go on three?
Roger Murtaugh: Yeah.
Arjen "Aryan" Rudd: Mr. Getz got away. A missed opportunity and he gets away. He slips right through our fingers, and into the hands of the police.
[catches Pieter staring at the floor around him]
Arjen "Aryan" Rudd: What are you doing?
Pieter Vorstedt: I was just checking to see if I was standing on plastic.
[Riggs is about to drive up onto the center divider of an overpass in Trish's new car during pursuit]
Roger Murtaugh: You're not going to make it!
Martin Riggs: Yes, I will.
Roger Murtaugh: [anxiously] There's not enough room!
Martin Riggs: There's plenty of room, sure I'll make it!
[runs the car
up onto the divider, scraping it along a metal guard-rail]
Roger Murtaugh: [screaming as sparks fly] Ah, my side panel!
Martin Riggs: [ignoring Roger and shouting to driver blocking lane beside them] Move over! Move over!
Roger Murtaugh: [to other driver] Move over, mother fucker!
[Riggs has dislocated his shoulder to escaped from a straight-jacket for a bet]
Detective: How the hell do you do that man?
Martin Riggs: Well, I dislocated my shoulder one time and I can do it whenever I want.
Detective: God damn man, doesn't that hurt?
Martin Riggs: Yes it does but not as much as when
I put it back in!
[Slams his shoulder into an office partition wall]
Martin Riggs: Well if it isn't Mrs. Sigmund Fraud.
Dr. Stephanie Woods: My door is always open.
Martin Riggs: Well, I think we should keep this on a professional level, don't you, Doc?
Dr. Stephanie Woods: Why do you do this to yourself Riggs?
Martin Riggs: Well, who else am I supposed
to do it to? None of them'll let me. Besides, I need the money.
[Ribbing Murtaugh about his daughter's television ad for condoms]
Riggs: In one ear, out the RUBBER...