Margot: Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah... Luckily!
Paulette: [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian] So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?
Vivian: You know, I'm still shocked that you didn't give Callahan the alibi.
Elle: It wasn't my alibi to tell.
Vivian: I know, I thought that was very... classy of you.
Elle: This is what I need to become.
Old Lady at Manicurist: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No, a law student.
Warner Huntington III: Pooh bear, just get in the car.
Elle: No.
[starts walking away, sniffling]
Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle: Okay.
[gets in car]
Elle: [wearing a bunny costume and shopping for a laptop computer] Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.
Brooke: Are you one of my lawyers?
Elle: Sort of.
Brooke: Well thank God one of you has a brain.
Elle: You're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?
Warner Huntington III: Well, no. That's not entirely true...
Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?
Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!
Elle: Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.
Paulette: [to her ex-husband] I'm takin' the dog... DUMBASS!
Warner Huntington III: If I want to be a Senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.
Warner Huntington III: Excuse me, I'm sorry... are you here to see me?
Elle: No, silly. I go here!
[Elle is presiding at her sorority meeting]
Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
Entire Sorority Group: Aye.
Serena: Oh look, there's Elle! Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There's like a judge and everything... and jury people.
Margot: VOTE FOR ELLE!
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: Ladies, take a seat!
Elle: The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.
