Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Marion McPherson: If you're tired, we can sit down.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not tired.
Marion McPherson: Oh, okay. I just couldn't tell because you were dragging your feet.
Marion McPherson: [Lady Bird rolls her eyes] Well, I just couldn't tell.
Christine 'Lady Bird'

McPherson: Why didn't you just say "pick up your feet"?
Marion McPherson: I didn't know if you were tired.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're being passive aggressive.
Marion McPherson: No, I wasn't.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You are SO INFURIATING!
Marion

McPherson: Please stop yelling.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I'm not yelling.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: [Marion picks out a pink dress] Oh, it's perfect!
Marion McPherson: Do you love it?

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Julie Steffans: What about terrorism?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Don't be republican.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Kyle Scheible: What you do is very baller. You're very anarchist.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah. Fuck'em.
Kyle Scheible: Don't worry, I'm not gonna snitch on you.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well, I hope not 'cause I'd fucking kill your family.
Kyle Scheible: What?

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Sorry. I... that was an exaggeration.
Kyle Scheible: It's okay. My dad has cancer, so I guess God's doing that for us.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Larry McPherson: Hey, I'm like Keith Richards. I'm just happy to be anywhere.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Uh, Its my parents number.
Kyle Scheible: You don't have a cellphone?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No
Kyle Scheible: Good girl. The government didn't have to put tracking devices on us. We bought them and put them on ourselves.
Christine 'Lady Bird'

McPherson: I don't own a tracking device
Kyle Scheible: No, no, no. The cellphones. You see?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wow
Kyle Scheible: Yeah I know. I mean, you'll have one eventually. Everyones gonna have one. And then, it'll be a matter of time.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson:

Before what?
Kyle Scheible: Before they out them in our brains.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Kyle Scheible: I didn't lose my virginity to you.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Wait, what?
Kyle Scheible: I lost my virginity to Cassie Duvall
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Excuse me? You said you were a virgin
Kyle Scheible: No I didn't. Cause I'm not. And I haven't lied in 2

years

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Danny O'Neill: Your mom is crazy, I'm scared of her.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: She's not crazy she just, you know, she has a big heart. She's very warm.
Danny O'Neill: I don't find your mother warm.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You don't?
Danny O'Neill: No. No, she's warm,

yeah but she's also kind of scary.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well you can't be scary and warm.
Danny O'Neill: I think you can, your mom is.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You're gay!

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Title Card: Anyone who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas in Sacramento. -Joan Didion

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Diana Greenway: I heard that before he became a priest, he was married, and had a son named Etienne, who died at 17 of a drug overdose, which maybe was a suicide. But my mom says same difference, if you're that careless with your life.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: You know, you can touch my boobs, right?
Danny O'Neill: I know. It's just that I respect you too much for that.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Cool. Awesome. I totally get that. Thank you.
Danny O'Neill: You're welcome.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson:

If you had boobs, I wouldn't touch them either.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's normal to not touch a penis

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Julie Steffans: You can't do anything unless you're the center of attention!

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Marion McPherson: We don't need to buy that.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's only three dollars. I'm having a hard week.
Marion McPherson: Well, if you wanna read it, we can go down to the public library.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: I wanna read it in bed.
Marion McPherson:

That's something that rich people do. We're not rich people.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: The only exciting thing about 2002 is that it's a palindrome.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

NYC Nurse: What do you want us to do? She's drunk.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Julie Steffans: some people aren't built happy, you know

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Sister Sarah Joan: Some of the students were disturbed by your posters.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's just a bird head in a lady body, or vice versa.
Sister Sarah Joan: I think it's a little upsetting.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: It's my tradition to run for office. Don't worry. I won't win.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Guidance Counselor: So I understand you're not interested in any Catholic colleges?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: No way. Sorry, but yes, no way.
Guidance Counselor: Then you'll be applying to UCs and State schools?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah, but also those East Coast liberal arts schools. Like

Yale, but not Yale because I probably couldn't get in.
Guidance Counselor: [laughs inappropriately] You definitely couldn't get in. Part of my job is to help you be realistic.
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah. That seems like everyone's job.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: If Danny and I get married and then his grandma died, I'd inherit the dream house.
Julie Steffans: Wouldn't his parents get it?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Oh yeah, we'd have to kill them. And we'd have to kill his older brothers too.

Lady Bird
Lady Bird

Father Leviatch: Lady Bird. Is that your given name?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Yeah.
Father Leviatch: Why is it in quotes?
Christine 'Lady Bird' McPherson: Well, I gave it to myself. It's given to me, by me.