Kingsman: The Golden Circle Quotes

[Eggsy enters the Kingsman briefing room]
Arthur: Ah, Galahad! You're late. We were wondering if you'd had a second encounter with Charlie.
Eggsy: I wish. I'm looking forward to finishing him off.
[Eggsy sits down and puts on his glasses to greet the holographic projections of the other agents]
Eggsy: All right, gents.

[Merlin enters the room]
Arthur: Merlin, come in. Galahad and Lancelot, please remain for Merlin's debrief. Everyone else, reconvene at 1900 hours.
[the other agents sign off as Merlin activates the main screen]
Merlin: So, the man who attacked Galahad in the taxi was Charlie Hesketh, rejected Kingsman applicant turned bad. We last saw

him back at Richmond Valentine's HQ.
[Merlin plays the security footage of Eggsy knocking out Charlie]
Merlin: Like everyone else there, Charlie had a security implant in his neck. A weakness we had no choice but to exploit.
[security footage shows the heads of Valentne's guests exploding]
Eggsy: [recalling Merlin's words] Hey Merlin.

Still fucking spectacular, eh?
[pause]
Eggsy: Come on, guys. Loosen up. We saved the world.
Merlin: Yeah. Unfortunately, Galahad, you also saved Charlie. When you electrocuted him, you damaged his implant. Instead of his head exploding, he only lost an arm and his vocal chords.
Eggsy: Fucker should be thanking me.

Arthur: And now he's back for revenge?
Merlin: We don't think so, sir. We believe he's being recruited by an unknown organization. Lancelot?
Roxy: Got the police autopsy reports from Charlie's colleagues in the SUVs. They're not just goons for hire. Fingerprints removed. Teeth filed smooth. I did a face recognition. Nothing.

Arthur: And that thing?
Roxy: A cosmetic tattoo made of 24-karat gold. They all had them. Seems like we're looking at some kind of underworld organization.

[Eggsy stands by the ruins of Kingsman Tailors. He notices a figure emerging from the other side and pulls his gun at him, only to discover that it is Merlin]
Eggsy: Someone decides to wipe out every Kingsman property, every agent, and somehow, conveniently, you weren't at home!
Merlin: I could say the same thing about you.

Eggsy: What, you think I'd kill Roxy? And my mate Brandon, and my fucking dog?
Merlin: No. You think I would?
[Merlin pulls out Charlie's robotic arm from his bag]
Merlin: This thing... hacked us. Clearly, this arm can be remotely controlled. I'm only alive because my address wasn't on the database with the agents. Whoever

Charlie's working with doesn't think that mere staff are missile-worthy.
Eggsy: This ain't funny. Roxy is dead! Everyone's dead! Gone! Do you even care?
Merlin: Pull yourself together! Remember your training. There's no time for emotion in this scenario.
[Eggsy nods]
Merlin: Now, as all surviving agents are present, we

follow the doomsday protocol. When that's done, and only then, you may shed a tear in private.
Eggsy: Okay. What's the doomsday protocol?
Merlin: We go shopping.

[JB barks while scratching a door in Eggsy's house]
Brandon: Come on, JB. Give it a rest, mate. Stop scratching the door. I'm gonna get the blame now.
[Brandon opens the door]
Brandon: There you are. Happy?
[as JB goes to his bed, Brandon notices the study room decorated with only three front cover pages of The Sun. He sits down on the

desk]
Brandon: With the decks and all that.
[Brandon presses a button on the DJ mixer, which opens a secret weapons compartment on the wall]
Brandon: Shit, boy! What the...
[Brandon gets up and looks at the weapons and accessories. He gets a pair of glasses and a cigarette lighter before returning to the desk and putting on the glasses]

Brandon: Do you reckon, JB, model material?
[the glasses activate, showing Brandon the live feed on Eggsy's dinner with the Swedish Royal Family]
The King of Sweden: I must say, you're really not as I expected.
Eggsy: Well, thank you very much, Your Majesty.
Brandon: Eggsy, is that you, mate?

What the fuck is going on here? You a gangster now or something? Fucking hell. Is that Tilde's mom and dad's house? Tell you what, whatever you're doing, I want in.
[Brandon gets a cigarette and opens the lighter, unknowingly activating the grenade charge. Eggsy warns Brandon, unaware that he's also pointing at the King]
Eggsy: Put it down!
[confused look in

the King's face]
The King of Sweden: Why?
[meanwhile, Brandon wonders why the lighter is beeping and blinking red]
Brandon: What's this?
Eggsy: I said, put it down now!
The King of Sweden: What's wrong with it?
Eggsy: Shut it! Fucking shut it!
Princess

Tilde: Eggsy.
The Queen of Sweden: I beg your pardon.
Eggsy: Shut it! Shut it now!
[Brandon closes the lighter]
Brandon: All right, mate. Chill your boots.
Princess Tilde: Eggsy, what...
[Eggsy realizes the confusion caused by his online argument]
Eggsy:

Oh, no. Oh my God, no. I'm so sorry.
[JB starts to bark all of a sudden]
Brandon: You shut up and all. You got me in enough trouble.
[JB continues to bark until a missile suddenly hits the house, to the shock in Eggsy's face]

Tequila: All right. Y'all ain't got nothing to protect other than your honor. Let's see what happens when we change things up.
[Tequila changes the glass window on the wall, revealing Harry shaving]
Merlin: Harry!
Eggsy: Fuck me!
Tequila: Y'all got three seconds to tell the truth.
[Tequila pulls

out his gun and points it at Harry]
Merlin: Wait! No!
Eggsy: Harry!
Tequila: He can't hear you, but I can. So talk.
Merlin: No!
Eggsy: Get down, Harry!
Tequila: That's two.
Eggsy, Merlin: Harry! Harry!

Tequila: Three.
Ginger: Stop!
[Ginger enters the room and throws an umbrella at Tequila]
Ginger: Their story checked out. I opened our doomsday scenario locker and that umbrella was in it. Kingsman. It's got our logo on it.
[Tequila looks at the 'Kingsman London' label on the umbrella handle, with the 'S' in the form of

the Statesman logo. Ginger dries up Eggsy and Merlin]
Ginger: I'm really sorry.
Tequila: My apologies, boys. I'd, I hope there ain't no hard feelings. I was just doin' my job. Welcome to Statesman, independent intelligence agency. Just like y'all, I reckon. But our founders went into the booze business. Thank the sweet Lord above. This is Ginger Ale.

She's our strategy executive.
Ginger: Hello.
Tequila: I'm Agent Tequila.
Eggsy: This is the part where you untie us.

[Eggsy and Merlin enter Berry Bros. & Rudd winery]
Merlin: We're from Kingsman. We'd like to buy some wine. And use tasting room number three, please.
[Eggsy and Merlin enter the tasting room]
Merlin: Not one of my predecessors has ever been in this situation before. Thank God.
[Merlin looks at a wall crest]

Merlin: A-ha.
[Merlin pulls out a Kingsman medallion]
Merlin: Remember this?
Eggsy: Yeah, how could I forget?
[Merlin places the medallion on the crest, opening it to reveal a safe]
Merlin: Whatever's in that safe is the answer to all our problems.
[Merlin opens the safe, only to find a

bottle of Statesman whiskey]
Eggsy: Is that it?
Merlin: I suppose that must be upper-class humor. I don't get it.
Eggsy: Me neither. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?
Merlin: I think we should drink a toast to our fallen comrades.
[Merlin opens the bottle and pours some whiskey for himself

and Eggsy]
Eggsy: To Roxy.
Merlin: Roxy.
[they toast to Roxy]
Merlin: Ooh.
[Merlin pours another round]
Merlin: To Arthur.
Eggsy: Arthur.
[they toast to Arthur]
Eggsy: Mmm. Should we do one for JB?
Merlin: I

think we should.
[they both sit down and pour more rounds]
Merlin: [sobbing] I should have seen it coming. Charlie, the taxi. It's all my fault.
Eggsy: No, that's bullshit. Bullshit, Merlin. It ain't all your fault. You're the best, bruv. Honestly, without you, I'd have lost it a long time ago.
Merlin: I think we should

drink to Scotland.
Eggsy: [grabs bottle from Merlin] I think we've probably had enough, to be honest.
Merlin: You're probably right.
[Eggsy looks at the bottle's back label, which reads 'Distilled in Kentucky', only with the K in the form of the Kingsman logo]
Eggsy: Merlin.
Merlin: Aye?

Eggsy: I think we're going to Kentucky.
Merlin: Fried chicken? I love fried chicken.
Eggsy: No. Proper Kentucky. Look.
[Eggsy shows Merlin the bottle]

[Eggsy enters Harry's room]
Eggsy: Harry. What's going on?
Harry Hart: I was just packing. Look at all these lovely toiletries Merlin very kindly gave me as a leaving present. Here, try this aftershave.
Eggsy: Yeah, I know, Harry. I'm wearing it. Listen. You can't just give up.
Harry Hart: Give up? No,

on the contrary, I'm about to achieve my dream. Researching rare butterflies alongside some of the finest minds in entomology.
[Eggsy looks at the drawings on the walls]
Eggsy: You know, you may as well have me stuck up on this wall. 'Cause you're never gonna find a butterfly more interesting than me.
Harry Hart: Sorry?

Eggsy: When you and I first met, I was just, like, a maggot.
Harry Hart: Maggots turn into flies. Perhaps you mean larva.
Eggsy: Larva, yeah, okay. Whatever. The point is, everyone wanted to squash me. But not you. You helped me to become a caterpillar. And now I've got wings. I'm flying higher than I ever dreamed, and that is all

thanks to you.
Harry Hart: I hate to seem rude, but I need to finish packing and get some sleep.
Eggsy: Harry, you can't just walk away. Kingsman needs you. The whole world needs you.
[pause]
Eggsy: I need you.
Harry Hart: Eggy, whoever the Harry was that you knew, he's gone, I'm afraid.

[offers a handshake]
Harry Hart: Goodbye.

[Eggsy calls Princess Tilde on FaceTime]
Princess Tilde: Hey.
Eggsy: Hi, babe. Uh, bit of a nightmare. I've got to sleep with a target, but I won't do it unless you agree that it's all right.
Princess Tilde: You've got to be fucking kidding. What was I? Target practice?
Eggsy: Babe, surely it's better

that I'm honest with you rather than me doing it and not telling you. Kind of got a bit of a 'save the world' situation here.
Princess Tilde: How the fuck is screwing someone gonna save the world?
Eggsy: Well, it's a bit complicated, but trust me, I would not be doing it if I didn't have to.
[pause]
Eggsy: Babe, please

believe me. I love you. You are the person I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
Princess Tilde: Is that a proposal?
[nervous look on Eggsy's face]
Eggsy: Um...
Princess Tilde: Because I think I'd give you my permission. Having that security, knowing that we were committed, in that context, yeah. Yeah, I'd feel

different.
Eggsy: Right. Well, I mean... I want to be with you. But being a public figure, babe, like a prince... it's a bit of a factor, you know, what with my job and stuff.
[Princess Tilde turns away]
Eggsy: Oh, no, no, no, come on. Okay. Uh, look, we need to talk about this properly. Just give me five minutes, okay?
Princess

Tilde: Don't put yourself down, Eggsy. I'm sure you can last longer than that.

Whiskey: Miss, I beg your pardon. Now, I don't wanna pester you, but I just have to know, what time are you playing?
Clara: I'm not in a band. Oh, God. Who did you think I was? Please don't say someone ghastly.
Whiskey: God damn it, now I feel like a fool. I just assumed that a woman with your... charisma, well, she just had to be

somebody.
Clara: Right. Thank you.
Whiskey: No, it's okay. I know you didn't mean to make me feel like a dumbass. So I'll let you make it up to me by letting me buy you a drink.
Clara: Follow my finger.
[Clara points her finger in front of Whiskey and swipes left]
Whiskey: [chuckles] What are we

doing?
Clara: Swiping to the left. What, you don't do Tinder in America?
Whiskey: Tinder what?
Eggsy: Do you know, I think it's probably a generational thing. It translates as: 'Go away, old man'.
[pause]
Whiskey: Be good, be cool.
Eggsy: Bye.

Clara: Thank you for that.

Eggsy: Okay, so according to her Instagram feed, Charlie's ex-girlfriend is up ahead at the VIP bar. Which one of us is gonna place the tracker?
[Eggsy and Whiskey pass through security]
Whiskey: I say we both make an approach, whoever gets on best, goes for it.
Eggsy: Well, it doesn't have to be a competition, bruv. Why don't

we just go up to her, shake her hand, pat her on the back, whatever, you know. Job done.
Whiskey: The hand is not a mucous membrane, Eggsy. Neither is the back. They teach you anything at Kingsman?
Eggsy: What are you talking about?
Whiskey: Our trackers are designed to enter the bloodstream. They circulate harmlessly,

providing full audio and GPS.
Eggsy: Mucous membrane. That's like up the nose, isn't it? What the fuck am I gonna do? Stick my finger...
[pause]
Eggsy: It's not just inside the nose, is it?
Whiskey: No, Eggsy. It ain't.
Eggsy: Fuck.
Whiskey: All right, I'll take the first

crack. Watch and learn, buddy.
[Whiskey takes a drink from his belt buckle flask before approaching Clara]
Eggsy: Good luck.

Champ: At what point are you going to start behaving like a Statesman, Tequila? You wanna go back to being a rodeo clown?
Tequila: No, sir. I apologize, sir.
[Champagne turns around towards Eggsy]
Champ: I'm Champagne. But anyone who knows what's good for him...
[throws hat at champagne bottle]

Champ: ... calls me Champ. Sorry for your troubles. As your American cousins, I'm placing all of Statesman's considerably larger resources at your disposal.
[Champ points at Statesman's stock market numbers]
Champ: Can you imagine us in the clothing business?
[Champ chuckles as he looks at the trophies by the window and sits down]

Champ: Now, how can I help you?
Eggsy: First of all, I've got to thank you for saving Agent Galahad.
Champ: Wait. You said that you were Agent Galahad.
Tequila: Oh, no, he's talking about the butterfly guy. That used to be his handle.
Champ: Oh.
Eggsy: Galahad

always said, 'You've got to look at the bigger picture. Ask why as well as who.' So if someone wanted to take out Kingsman, then they've got to be planning something major.
Champ: So what do you know?
Eggsy: They're a drug cartel, we think. The name Golden Circle keeps coming up.
Champ: Mmm. We'll look into them. What else?

Eggsy: One of our former trainees is working with them. Charlie Hesketh. Total prick.
Champ: You got any promising leads on him?
Eggsy: His ex-girlfriend. I've been tracking her through social media. We believe she's still in contact with him. And she's going to Glastonbury Music Festival.
Champ: Oh,

good. Agent Tequila, break out your dancing shoes. You have a new mission.
Tequila: Yes, sir.
[Champ suddenly notices a blue rash on Tequila's neck and face]
Champ: Hold up. You feeling okay?
Tequila: I'm a little tired, but fine, thanks. Galahad, you ready?
Champ: Your face... You got...

[Tequila looks through the reflection on his steel glass]
Tequila: What the fuck?
Champ: Oh, shit. Head to the sick bay. Have Ginger check you out.
[Tequila walks to the door]
Champ: [whistles] Hey, give him your glasses.
[Tequila throws his glasses to Eggsy]
Champ: You're in luck, kid.

Put them on. You get our finest senior agent to join you instead. Right now, he's in our New York office. Galahad, meet Agent Whiskey.
[Eggsy puts on the glasses and sees a hologram of Agent Whiskey]
Whiskey: Kid, looks like we're hookin' up with a chick at a rock concert. My favorite kind of mission. I'm sending my jet to pick you up.

Champ: In honor of this historic occasion, we have purchased... a distillery in Scotland. This shows the world that Kingsman is now joining the liquor business.
[Champ pours Kingsman scotch in a glass for Tequila]
Champ: Before we were cousins. Now we're brothers, working side-by-side.
[pouring himself some scotch]

Champ: All our resources are now yours. You can rebuild
Tequila: Yeah, y'all shitting in high cotton now.
Champ: Agent Tequila, this is a formal occasion. Where's your tie and jacket?
Tequila: Sorry, sir.
Champ: Maybe the Kingsman boys can dress you properly.
[Champ raises his

glass to Harry and Eggsy]
Champ: To our union.
[Tequila and the holographic projections of the other Statesman agents raise their glasses]
Champ: Final order of business. We would be honored if one of you would be our new Agent Whiskey.
Tequila: Yeah, this, uh, two Galahad thing is just, just fucking confusing.

Eggsy: Well, I...
Harry Hart: Well, I'm very honored.
Ginger: Champ? I'd like to throw my hat in the ring.
[Champ knocks on the table]
Champ: All right. Statesman, the vote.
[All Statesman agents raise their glasses]
Champ: Looks like she's in. Have a seat.
[Eggsy

pulls a chair for Ginger]
Champ: To Agent Whiskey!

Angel: Poppy, would you pass the sugar, please?
Poppy: Okay, but it's really bad for you. Eight times more addictive than cocaine. Five times more likely to cause death. But it's legal. So, you go ahead, knock yourself out. Don't get me started on tobacco and alcohol. Peddle that stuff and you're in Fortune 500. But me? No! I'm out here hiding in the middle

of nowhere. Homesick. Because I sell drugs.