I've heard expressions like, 'Are you good in bed?' What does that even mean? For me, good in bed means sleeping seven hours. Undisturbed! If I get eight hours, that means I'm amazing!
I am not a hound; I am an attention-seeker. Very different animal. My kind of attention requires greater finesse.
Give me the flash lights, the red carpets, and all that goes with it. Please! Oh, and I love hoardings. I love them. Nothing makes me happier than my face splashed all over the city.
I simply can't do one-word message replies: Yes. Ok. No. Sure. Cool. None of these are options for me. I must write something extra. Something personal. I put kisses and emoticons. Emoticons, by the way, are my very best friends. They have removed all the pressure of thinking up something personal to say.
Honesty is wonderful, but I suspect it's also overrated.
If I did have a six-pack to show and a great waistline to put out there to the universe or beautiful muscular legs, then I would not have to pout. The only thing I have going for me is a jawline.
Everyone thinks I land in a chopper on top of my building and I have the most cushy existence. Could you understand that I might have the most messed up life myself?
Offence is no longer defence - it's a full-time profession. Everyone is so offended all the time. The new police force that we weren't told about: the moral police. No qualifications, no training, no understanding of actual morality, but they have a degree in the art of being offended.
I am constantly accused of being 'First World.' So what should I do? I can't apologise for my environment, upbringing, aesthetic.
For me, a child means an old-age insurance policy. I have a nurturing quality in me.
I am very strongly paternal. My paternal instincts need to be acted upon. My love needs a release. I love everyone. I don't express my love enough, but the love within me needs a platform as a parent.