[first lines]
Johnny English: Ah, the Heckler and Koch G-36. Quite deadly in the right hands.
[Johnny English appears from the room, with tomato ketchup as blood]
Johnny English: I've managed to subdue the assailant. The panic's over. Everything's under control.
Johnny English: All right, so I was wrong about the Archbishop's bottom.
Johnny English: A good agent doesn't need gadgets. The only gadgets I've ever needed are a sharp eye, sensitive hearing and a whole bunch of bigger brains.
[Johnny has just been accidentally crowned King]
Johnny English: Arrest that man! And lock him away!
[crowd cheers]
[Johnny and Lorna lean in to kiss each other and right before they kiss, Johnny accidentally presses the eject button with his elbow]
Lorna Campbell: Aaaaaah! Johnny!
Johnny English: Oh, F...
Johnny English: My *bottom* will be king of England before you are.
Bough: Shall we call for back-up sir?
Johnny English: What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us? I don't think so.
Johnny English: Wibble.
Bough: So what you're saying is, there were two of them?
Johnny English: Yes. Possibly four.
Bough: ...Where were you sir?
Johnny English: Just drop it Bough!
Johnny English: Your dependence on hardware really does amuse me, Bough. I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons. And I still managed to find my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan.
Pascal Sauvage: English has seen too much. We go to plan B. Get rid of the fake archbishop and greenlight the visit to Her Majesty and then this pathetic country can humiliate itself by crowning me officially.
Johnny English: I'm a spent force!
