Almost every week, someone's mad at me.
I only get unusual ailments.
I have like fifteen televisions in my house.
I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.
My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians.
On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime.
I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?
If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.
I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.
Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.
You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage.
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.
No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do.
People's lives are boring.
My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.
I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.
I never imagined being on television.
I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.
When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended.
The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it.
