Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

I've had great success being a total idiot.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

You can ask me anything you want. That doesn't mean I'm going to answer you.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

You want to know why Barbra Streisand is so difficult? Because she's brilliant. She's a brilliant entertainer, she's a brilliant lady, and she's a wonderful human being, and the community doesn't like it.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

The young man who's had the Guggenheim fortune behind him all his life - he can hire all the authorities on the subject to teach him how to do a monologue, but he's never going to have the right stuff to pull it off. If he doesn't walk out onstage needing to walk out there, he doesn't have a dream of doing well.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

Nothing can stop anyone who has a love and passion about their work.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

The greatest thing I can remember in my whole career was the Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey clowns asking me to appear with them at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles in 1965.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

You can't be faulted for being selfish if you're going to get better because of it.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

From 1936 on, I have taken more falls than any other 20 comedians put together. From the time I was 21, I've taken them on everything from clay courts to cement to wood floors, coming off pianos, going out a two-story window, landing on Dean, falling into the rough. You do that and you're gonna have problems.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

You think about getting old, but when you get there, it's not what you thought it would be.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

When you're 89, dementia develops. I mean, I've told a story onstage, and I'm telling it with a full heart, and I forgot the damn punch line.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

The film I did with Bobby De Niro, 'The King of Comedy' - an awful lot came to me out of that movie because De Niro never allowed me any room to be crazy. If I had tried to play it the way I would normally play it and get hysterical, Bobby would punch me.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything.

Jerry Lewis
Jerry Lewis

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have, and I never will.