I'm happy with what I've done but it's a challenge to try to win more.
People want to hear what I have to say and respect what I say.
I do still have some of the experience from playing, but it's been so long since I've been out in those quarters, semis, finals, the important final matches, just against the top players.
I was an emotional basket case.
What I want out of tennis is not necessarily just winning.
But, you know, I just want to play well and have fun playing well.
I just want to get to the level where I can say that that's my level, just try to play well, get up there.
I had an instinct before and maybe now I don't have that instinct as much as knowing what to do, what shots to hit, where to place the ball, things like that.
It doesn't matter whether I qualify or wildcards.
Yes, I made mistakes by rebelling, by acting out in confused ways.
I know there is much mystery, much question to what happened, and I must also say, many lies.
I feel like I've started a new chapter in my life, and I need to leave the past behind.
I mean, I feel like just a new person completely.
I mean, obviously, a lot of people know me around the world. Kids know me.
You know, I'm confident before I go out and play a match that I know, you know, I've put in the work and like I feel confident that I am going to go out there and play well.
Let me say that the path I did take for a brief period of my life was not of reckless drug use, hurting others, but it was a path of quiet rebellion, of a little experimentation of a darker side of my confusion in a confusing world, lost in the midst of finding my identity.
Now a lot has changed and I can separate a lot of things.
It wasn't my tennis that made me lose, it was a lot of different things going on, high drama, high emotion.
Coming back after the layoff, I wasn't really sure what to expect.
Tennis is what I do and is part of who I am.
