Charlie Kelly: GOOD MORNING, JUAREZ FAMILY!
Charlie Kelly: Cat in the wall, eh? Okay, now you're talkin' my language! I know that game.
Charlie Kelly: So what, you want a maid?
Frank Reynolds: That's right, a maid. A maid I can bang.
Mac: Jesus Christ, Frank. Are you cutting your toenails with a steak knife?
Charlie Kelly: I suppose you have a problem with that, too?
Frank Reynolds: Ah! Oh! Oh! Botched toe! I botched that one. Oh, that's a botch job. That's bleeding. I need some trash to plug up the cut.
Gladys: What's happening?
Dennis Reynolds: What's happening, Gladys, is we're at the fair and you're gonna act like my grandma, okay?
Gladys: My grandmother had an affair with Susan B. Anthony.
Dennis Reynolds: I-I don't give a shit.
Dennis Reynolds: Whoa, what's with the spray paint, man?
Charlie Kelly: Uhh, what's with your outfit, man?
Charlie Kelly: You did your best, no hard feelings! I'm going to grab some of this literature on my way out too.
Dennis Reynolds: She didn't do that great of a job.
Charlie Kelly: I mean, don't beat her while she's down, man.
Charlie Kelly: Mac, can an asshole rip in half?
Mac: Like tissue paper.
Fat Mac: You want some insulin?
Dee Reynolds: Your life is way more glamorous than what I was picturing.
Roxy: Yeh, yeh. Now, help me dig these crack rocks outta my ass.
Mac: [to Frank] God, you're disgusting. A disgusting animal.
Frank Reynolds: [introducing himself to a group of parents who have gathered at Paddy's Pub to enter their children in a pageant] I know some of you may have heard about that other guy... I am not gonna diddle your kids. I'm not like that; that's not my thing. I met that guy in a titty bar!
[repeated lines, said in no specific order]
Mac: Boom.
Dennis Reynolds: Boom.
Dee Reynolds: Boom.
[repeated lines, said in no specific order]
Mac: Absolutely.
Charlie Kelly: Absolutely.
Dennis Reynolds: Absolutely.
