Pepper Potts: Have you been drinking?
Tony Stark: Chlorophyll.
[as Coulson gazes upon a crater, he makes a call]
Agent Coulson: Sir. We found it.
[camera pans down to reveal Thor's hammer]
Iron Man: You have *a* big gun, you're not *the* big gun.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Tony, don't be jealous.
Iron Man: No, it's subtle, all the bells and whistles.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: Yeah, it's called "being a badass"!
Agent Coulson: Good luck. We need you.
Tony Stark: More than you know.
Agent Coulson: Not that much.
Tony Stark: My bond is with the people, and I will serve this great nation at the pleasure of myself. If there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.
[Tony makes an explosive entrance at the Stark Expo]
Fan in crowd: Blow something up!
Tony Stark: What? Blow something up? I already did that.
Tony Stark: You sound pretty spry for a dead guy.
Ivan Vanko: You too.
Tony Stark: [to Nick Fury] I'm sorry. I don't wanna get on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye? Honest, I'm a bit hung over. I'm not sure if you're real or if I'm having...
Nick Fury: [cuts him off] I am very real. I'm the realest person you're ever gonna meet.
Tony Stark: What's the point of owning a race car if you can't drive it?
Tony Stark: I just want to talk to you for a minute, well, make that 30 seconds...
Pepper Potts: Okay.
[looks at her watch]
Pepper Potts: 29, 28, 27...
Howard Stark: [after making yet another error in his "City of the Future" speech] I would personally like to show you... my ass.
Tony Stark: Can I ask you something personal? If this was the last birthday party you were going to have, what would you do?
Natalie Rushman: I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to do it with.
[cut to Stark dancing around drunkenly in Iron Man suit]
Tony Stark: Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance.
[looking through Natalie's resume]
Tony Stark: She's fluent in French, Italian, Russian, Latin. Who speaks Latin?
Pepper Potts: No one speaks Latin. It's a dead language.
Pepper Potts: I need you...
Tony Stark: I need you too, that's what I'm trying to...
Pepper Potts: ...to leave. Now.
Col. James 'Rhodey' Rhodes: [regaining consciousness] Oh man, you can have your suit back.
Tony Stark: I want one.
Pepper Potts: No.
Ivan Vanko: I can make salute.
Justin Hammer: You can make salute? What do you mean you can make salute? What the *hell* does that mean, Ivan?
Ivan Vanko: Speaks in Russian: Slishkom mnogo govorish' "You talk too much."
Justin Hammer: I don't know if you know this, but *I don't speak Russian!* Now I'm gonna go to the Expo, maybe you can watch me on TV, maybe I'll get laid.
