In Bruges Quotes

[last lines]
Ray: There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened. And I thought, if I survive all of this, I'd go to that house, apologize to the mother there, and accept whatever punishment she chose for me. Prison... death... didn't matter. Because at least in prison and at least in death, you know, I wouldn't

be in fuckin' Bruges. But then, like a flash, it came to me. And I realized, fuck man, maybe that's what hell is: the entire rest of eternity spent in fuckin' Bruges. And I really really hoped I wouldn't die. I really really hoped I wouldn't die.

Ken: Harry, let's face it. And I'm not being funny. I mean no disrespect, but you're a cunt. You're a cunt now, and you've always been a cunt. And the only thing that's going to change is that you're going to be an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: [furious] Leave my kids fucking out of it! What have they done? You fucking retract

that bit about my cunt fucking kids!
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insult my fucking kids? That's going overboard, mate!
Ken: I retracted it, didn't I?

Ray: Harry, I've got an idea.
Harry: What?
Ray: My room faces out the canal, right? I'm going to go back to me room, jump into the canal, see if I can swim to the other side and escape.
Harry: All right.
Ray: If you go outside around the corner, you can shoot at me from there and try to

get me. That way we'll leave this lady and her baby out of the whole entire thing.
Harry: You completely promise to jump into the canal? I don't want to run out there, come back in ten minutes, and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.
Ray: I completely promise, Harry. I'm not going to risk having another little kid dying on me.

Harry: So, hang on - I go outside and I go which way? Right or left?
Ray: [upset] You go right, don't you? You can see it from the doorway! It's a big fucking canal!
Harry: All right. Jesus. I only just got here, haven't I? Okay, on the count of one, two, three, go. Okay?
Ray: Okay.
[long pause]

Ray: What? Who says it?
Harry: Well you say it.
Marie: You people are crazy.

Ken: Coming up?
Ray: What's up there?
Ken: The view.
Ray: The view of what? The view of down here? I can see that down here.
Ken: Ray, you are about the worst tourist in the whole world.
Ray: Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and

was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't.

Harry: [about Ray] So he's having a really nice time?
Ken: Well, I'm having a really nice time. I'm not sure it's really his cup of tea.
Harry: [after a long pause] What?
Ken: You know, I'm not sure it's really his thing.
Harry: What do you mean it's not really his thing? What's that

supposed to mean? It's not really his thing. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Ken: Nothing, Harry.
Harry: It's a fairytale town, isn't it? How's a fairytale town not somebody's fucking thing?How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches, all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff, how can that not be somebody's

fucking thing, eh?
Ken: What I think I meant to say was...
Harry: [Interrupts] Is the swans still there?
Ken: Yeah, there's swans...
Harry: How can fucking swans not fucking be somebody's fucking thing, eh? How can that be?

Ken: [looking at a surreal Bosch painting] It's Judgment Day, you know?
Ray: No. What's that then?
Ken: Well, it's, you know, the final day on Earth, when mankind will be judged for the crimes they've committed and that.
Ray: Oh. And see who gets into heaven and who gets into hell and all that.

Ken: Yeah. And what's the other place?
Ray: Purgatory.
Ken: Purgatory... what's that?
Ray: Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one. You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great either. Like Tottenham.
[pause]
Ray: Do you believe in all that stuff, Ken?

Ken: About Tottenham?

Overweight Man: Been to the top of the tower?
Ray: Yeah... yeah, it's rubbish.
Overweight Man: It is? The guide book says it's a must see.
Ray: Well you lot ain't going up there.
Overweight Man: Pardon me? Why?
Ray: I mean, it's all winding stairs. I'm not being

funny.
Overweight Man: What exactly are you trying to say?
Ray: What exactly am I trying to say? You's a bunch of fuckin' elephants.
[overweight man attempts to chase Ray around but quickly grows tired]
Ray: Come on, leave it fatty!
[the overweight women calm down the overweight man]
Overweight

Woman #2: [to Ray] You know you're just the rudest man. The rudest man!
Ken: [coming back from the tower] What's all that about?
[Ray shrugs]
Ken: They're not going up there.
[to overweight family]
Ken: Hey, guys. I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.
Overweight Woman #2:

Screw you, motherfucker!
Ken: [to Ray] What was that about?
Ray: [shrugs]

Chloë: So what do you do, Raymond?
Ray: I... shoot people for money.
Chloë: [smiling] What kinds of people?
Ray: Priests, children... you know, the usual.
Chloë: Is there a lot of money to be made in that business?
Ray: There is for priests. There isn't for

children. So what is it you do, Chloë?
Chloë: I sell cocaine and heroin to Belgian film crews.
Ray: Do you?
Chloë: Do I look like I do?
Ray: You do, actually. Do I... look like I shoot people?
Chloë: No. Just children.

Ken: [Ray walks into the bar high on cocaine] How'd your date go?
Ray: My date involved two instances of extreme violence, one instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing which lasted all too briefly - isn't that always the way? - , one instance of me stealing five grams of very high-quality cocaine and one instance of me blinding a poofy

little skinhead: so all in all... my evening pretty much balanced out, fine.

Eirik: I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say.
Harry: Well to be honest it sounds like it's all your fault.
Eirik: What?
Harry: I mean basically if you're robbing a man

and you're only carrying blanks and you allow your gun to be taken off you and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank which I assume that the person has to get quite close to you then, yeah really it's all your fault for being such a poof, so why don't you stop wingeing and cheer the fuck up.
Yuri: Eirek - I really wouldn't respond.

Eirik: I thought you wanted the guy dead?
Harry: I do want the guy dead, I want him fucking crucified but it don't change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind little gay boy, does it?

Ken: What the fuck are you doing, Ray?
Ray: What the fuck are 'you' doing?
[Ken sticks pistol behind his back]
Ken: Nothing.
Ray: Oh, my God... you were gonna kill me.
Ken: No, I wa - You were gonna kill yourself!
Ray: Well... I'm allowed.

Ken: No, you're not!
Ray: What? I'm not allowed, and you are? How's that fair?

Chloë: There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.
Ray: Of course there hasn't. It's a shithole.
Chloë: Bruges is my home town, Ray.
Ray: Well, it's still a shithole.
Chloë: It's not a shithole!
Ray: What? Even midgets have to take drugs to

stick it.
Chloë: Okay. So, you've insulted my home town. You were doing really well, Raymond. Why don't you tell me some Belgium jokes while you're at it?
Ray: Don't know any Belgium jokes, and if I did I think I'd have the good sense not to... hang on. Is Belgium with all those child abuse murders lately? I do know a Belgium joke. What's Belgium

famous for? Chocolates and child abuse, and they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids.
[Ray sees Chloë's shocked expression]
Ray: What?
Chloë: One of the girls they murdered was a friend of mine.
Ray: [after a long pause, feeling bad] I'm sorry, Chloë.
Chloë: One of the girls they

murdered wasn't a friend of mine. I just wanted to make you feel bad. And it worked! Quite well.

[first lines]
Ray: After I killed them, I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter the instructions came through. "Get the fuck out of London, youse dumb fucks. Get to Bruges." I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.
[pause]

Ray: It's in Belgium.