Nicholas Angel: You're a doctor, deal with it!
Danny Butterman: Yeah, motherfucker!
[Nicholas is giving a talk to a group of school children]
Nicholas Angel: Are there any questions?
[Danny is sitting at the back of a group]
Danny Butterman: Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?
Danny Butterman: Ever fired your gun in the air and yelled, 'Aaaaaaah?'
Nicholas Angel: You don't mind a bit of manpower, do ya Doris?
PC Doris Thatcher: [laughing] Oh, dirty bastard!
Danny Butterman: What's it like being stabbed?
Nicholas Angel: It was the single most painful experience of my life
Danny Butterman: [nodding] What's the second most painful?
Dr. Robin Hatcher: I've told him several times "You shouldn't eat late at night".
PC Doris Thatcher: Oh, I dunno. I quite like a little midnight gobble. Haha!
PC Bob Walker: ...cocks.
Nicholas Angel: I didn't mean to upset the apple cart.
DS Andy Cartwright: Oh yeah, cause we all sell apples 'round here, don't we?
Danny Butterman: Your dad sells apples, Andy.
DS Andy Cartwright: And raspberries.
Nicholas Angel: What's the matter, Danny? Never taken a shortcut before?
[proceeds to leap over a series of back-garden fences]
[First night in Sandford]
Nicholas Angel: I'm taking you to the station.
[pause]
Nicholas Angel: Where is it?
Nicholas Angel: Why are you wearing a police officer's uniform?
Danny Butterman: 'Cause I am one?
DS Andy Wainwright: Angel! Don't go being a twat, now.
Nicholas Angel: I wouldn't give you the satisfaction!
[Angel is woken in the middle of the night with the report of a suspicious death]
Nicholas Angel: [on the phone] "Decaffeinated?"
[cut to shot of two decapitated heads]
Nicholas Angel: [shouting] Have you ever wondered why, why the crime rate in Sandford is so low, yet the accident rate is so high?
[in a crime scene, where everyone is masked and wearing the same clothes]
Nicholas Angel: Janine, I've been transferred and I'm moving away for a while.
'Not' Janine: I'm not Janine.
[Nick is being introduced to the NWA for the first time and expresses his religious convictions to Reverend Shooter]
Reverend Philip Shooter: Oh, you're an agnostic, then?
Dr. Robin Hatcher: [calling out] I think I've got a cream for that!
Danny Butterman: Forget it, Nicholas... it's Sandford.
