Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Nick Szalinski: Where'd you learn artificial respiration?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: French class, kid.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

[Wayne shows Diane the shrunken couch]
Diane Szalinski: [excited] Are you saying... it works? The machine works?
[Wayne nods]
Diane Szalinski: Do the kids know?
Wayne Szalinski: Well, yeah, the kids know.
Diane Szalinski: That's great!
Wayne Szalinski: No, it's not that

great.
Diane Szalinski: Why?
Wayne Szalinski: I shrunk the kids.
Diane Szalinski: ...What?
Wayne Szalinski: And the Thompson kids too. They're about this big, they're in the backyard.
Diane Szalinski: *What*?
Wayne Szalinski: I threw them out with the

trash.
[just as Diane grabs hold of Wayne, the doorbell rings. Wayne opens the door to two police officers]
Wayne Szalinski: Yes?
Female Cop: Did uh, you report two missing children?
Wayne Szalinski: Oh, there must be some mistake. Our children are in the backyard. Right, honey?
[Diane faints]

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

[last lines]
Nick Szalinski: Hey wait! I get it! FRENCH CLASS!

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Wayne Szalinski: Don't worry about them, they've got the Thompson kids with them. They'll be fine.
Diane Szalinski: That's another thing I'm worried about: Amy. In the dark. With Little Russ Thompson.
Wayne Szalinski: Get some rest.
Diane Szalinski: They'd better behave themselves.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Amy Szalinski: If you were my brother, I'd put myself up for adoption.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Yeah, I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Amy Szalinski: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Nick Szalinski: I don't think we're in the food chain anymore, Dorothy.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: [as the kids eat an Oreo, now gigantic to them] They're never going to believe this at school.
Nick Szalinski: Yeah, I can just see the note to the teacher: "Dear Miss Mason, Nick is not absent. He's pinned to this note".

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Nick Szalinski: We're now a quarter of an inch tall, and 64 feet from the house. That's an equivalent of three-point-two miles. That's a long way. Even for a man of science.
Amy Szalinski: Nick, I've got six hours to get home, get big and get to the mall. Now get moving.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Nick Szalinski: When we crashed, my entire life flashed before my eyes. It didn't take too long.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Amy Szalinski: Good night, Russ.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Good night, Amy.
Nick Szalinski, Ron Thompson: [pause, then mockingly] Good night, Amy!

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Amy Szalinski: Russ?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Yeah?
Amy Szalinski: How come you never came over before?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: I mean, you talked to me once or twice last year. I mean, I would've come by - I wanted to - but... I always thought you were too popular to notice me.
Amy

Szalinski: I was too popular to notice. I was stupid.
[they pause then they kiss]

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Your dad will go to jail, your mother too. After all she's the one who paid for it all, that makes her an accomplice. Do you even know what it's like in jail?
Amy Szalinski: I'm not even going to tell you one more time to shut up.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: And then what? Then you'll smack me? You'll go to jail

too. I'll tell them after a big bee ate my brother you smacked me around. No jury in the world would fail to convict you. The whole Szalinski family is going to be in jail for life...
Amy Szalinski: Look, my dad's machine works. When we get home and he fixes us all, we're gonna be so rich. You'll regret this.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: Um... Amy, you

know I've always liked your family. Your dad's a real nice guy. He's not as weird as I thought he was. I love you and Nick like... Like my own brother and sister.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: So, you like to dance huh?
Amy Szalinski: How do you know?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Well...
Amy Szalinski: You could see me?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: No, no. Yeah, I could, but I wasn't watching you, I...

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: [to Amy] It's just that my dad doesn't understand your dad.
Amy Szalinski: Your dad doesn't understand anything.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Ronald 'Ron' Thompson: I could eat a corndog the size of a truck.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr.: Ron, if you had a corndog it would be the size of a truck.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

[after being saved from her drowning demise]
Amy Szalinski: Ugh, mud is still mud, no matter how small you are. I can't believe that some stores actually charge for this stuff.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Mae Thompson: [Russ nurses a head wound] You got it, honey.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Sure?
Mae Thompson: Positive. You're wiping away brain cells and there aren't many to spare.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Everybody in my family is a comedian.
Mae Thompson: Everybody except you.


Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

[after Wayne and Diane stop Tommy with the lawnmower]
Tommy Pervis: [innocently] Nick said I could cut it, I swear!
Wayne Szalinski: When did you see Nick?
Diane Szalinski: Did you see him this morning?
Tommy Pervis: No, it was yesterday. Really, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so late.

Diane Szalinski: [calmly] It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. Why don't you back through our house, it's safer.
Tommy Pervis: [concerned] 'Safer'?
[Tommy stares at Wayne and Diane looking through the cut grass for the kids]
Tommy Pervis: [to himself] I thought MY folks were weird.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

[Wayne shows the Thompsons the shrunken furniture]
Mae Thompson: Why didn't you tell us earlier?
Diane Szalinski: Well, up until now, the machine just... blew things up.
Mae Thompson: Are you saying that that machine...?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: Blew up my kids?
Diane

Szalinski, Wayne Szalinski: No, no!
Wayne Szalinski: No, if the machine had blown up the kids, there'd be pieces of them everywhere...
Diane Szalinski: Wayne!
Wayne Szalinski: Sorry, but I'm positive about this. The machine shrunk our kids.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.:

You're the one who needs a shrink, Szalinski. You are a nut case. And I'll tell you something: I have got an air hammer in my attic, and if you did do something to my kids, there's gonna be pieces of you *all over the NEIGHBORHOOD*! Come on, Mae!
[he storms out of the house, dragging Mae after him]
Wayne Szalinski: I think that went well.
Diane

Szalinski: I think we should have them over more often.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr.: When I was your age, I put on twenty pounds of pure unadulterated blitz-the-quarterback-and-rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell!