Sebastian: You know what, Matt? It's amazing what you can do... when you don't have to look at yourself in the mirror any more.
Matt: My 5th grade teacher told me, that "Genius is the ability to go from A to D without having to go through B and C." Sebastian can do that, but for me, I gotta have the B and C.
Carter: Oh, I'd suck the tits right off of you.
Linda: Sebastian, do you have any idea what time it is?
Sebastian: Da Vinci never slept. Said it was a waste of time.
Frank: [over intercom] This is God. You are disturbing the natural order of things, and will be severely punished for all eternity. God has spoken.
Sebastian: How many times I have to tell you, Frank? You're not God. *I* am.
Matt: How did we let him talk us into this?
Linda: Can we talk about it later? I'm trying to make love to you.
[Dr. Kramer has stepped out by his pool. He lights his pipe and inadvertently blows smoke in Sebastian's face, briefly outlining it]
Sebastian: Hi, Boss.
Matt: Any last words?
Sebastian: Yeah! If I die, pretend the last words I said were real deep and clever.
Janice: What was the clientele like?
Frank: This guy comes up to me and he says: "l like my women like my coffee."
Janice: People still use that line?
Frank: Maybe he meant cold and bitter.
Janice: Very funny.
Sebastian: You don't make history by following the rules, you make it by seizing the moment.
Sebastian: Well, your objections have been duly noted and summarily overruled.
Sarah: Yes, Sir!
Sebastian: How come when you say "Yes, Sir" it kinda sounds like "Fuck you!"
Sarah: Practice!
Janice: So, what's it like being a ghost?
Sebastian: Ghosts are dead. I'm very much alive.
[discussing the experiment of turning Sebastian invisible]
Janice: If it is a snuff film, I got dibs on his Porsche.
Frank: Janice, how can you say that?
Janice: Sorry.
Frank: The Porsche is mine.
Linda: Let me tell you a little secret. The concept of Sebastian is much more appealing then Sebastian himself.
Sebastian: If we're gonna move forward, this is the next logical step!
