Hellboy II: The Golden Army Quotes

Hellboy: [drunk] Why is she mad at me? And it's not about the mess, either, it's about something else.
Abe Sapien: [also drunk] Well, ask her then!
Hellboy: No! Look, Abe, when a woman's mad at you, but she's really mad about something else, and you have to ask, she gets mad because you had to ask in the first place! You know?

Abe Sapien: Uh...
Hellboy: Never mind, don't answer that.

Princess Nuala: [with the others in the meat-locker] To wage his war, my brother needs this.
[holding the crown piece and cylinder]
Princess Nuala: The final piece of the crown of BethMora and this map to the location of the Golden Army chamber.
Johann Krauss: The Golden Army. The harbingers of death, the unstoppable tide...

Hellboy: [under his breath] Howdy Doody.
Johann Krauss: Your Highness, if you hand the crown piece over to us...
Princess Nuala: No. Where it goes, I go. My father died to uphold the truce with your world. We must honor his noble intentions.
Abe Sapien: The lady is in dire danger.
Johann

Krauss: I take is your are vouching for her, Agent Sapien?
Abe Sapien: Most emphatically, yes.
Johann Krauss: Even so... I am sorry, but we simply cannot assume such responsibility on our own.
Hellboy: [getting in Johann's face] Lady just lost her father, what more do you want?
Johann Krauss:

You may not care, but there are procedures, rules, and little handbooks that...
Hellboy: She's coming with us. You got that, gasbag?
Johann Krauss: [offended] What-what did you call me?
Prince Nuada: [from behind the group] You! You will pay for what happened to my friend down there.
Hellboy: [turning

to face him, sarcastically] Yeah, right. You take checks?
Prince Nuada: [enraged] Demon. Born from a womb of shadows, sent to destroy their world and you still believe you belong?
Hellboy: Are we going to talk all night? Because I'm really sleepy.

Prince Nuada: The humans... the humans have forgotten the gods, destroyed the earth, and for what? Parking lots? Shopping malls? Greed had burned a hole in their hearts that will never be filled! They will never have enough!
King Balor: What humans do is in their nature. To honor the truce is in ours.
Prince Nuada: Honor? Look at

this place! Where is the honor in this? Father, you were once a proud warrior. When did you become their pet?
[turns to the council]
Prince Nuada: I have returned from exile to wage war and reclaim our land, our birthright! And for that I will call upon the help of all my people and they will answer. The good, the bad...
[holds up the crown piece]

Prince Nuada: ... and the worst.
King Balor: [puts a hand to his own crown piece] The Golden Army? You cannot be that mad!
Prince Nuada: Perhaps I am. Perhaps they made me so.

Liz Sherman: We're looking for the entrance to BethMora.
Goblin: What would a nice girl like you be wanting in the Nightlands?
Liz Sherman: We are looking for Prince Nuada.
Goblin: Ah, him I know. Trade me something, and I'll take you to him.
Liz Sherman: Here, I have a shiny belt.

Goblin: [his legs are missing] But I have no pants.
Liz Sherman: I have a wonderful pair of magic eyes...
Goblin: No, I already have binoculars.

[entering the Golden Army chamber]
Goblin: Here we are... and there they are. Seventy times seventy soldiers. Sometimes I wish we'd never created them. Bim-bam went the hammers! Whoosh went the furnaces! One of those fires took my legs off. This is as far as I go. I'm not very good with steps. But if you're here to stop him, the Prince, I wish you luck. The Golden Army must

not awaken. Undo what we did.

Tom Manning: What are these things?
Liz Sherman: We normally can't see fairy folk and trolls. They emit a cloaking aura of "glamour." But in 1838, Emil Schuffstein designed these. Four crystal diopters that allows you to see things as they really are. Keep an eye on her.
[Manning sees the team following a bag lady pushing a shopping cart full of

kittens]
Tom Manning: That little old lady? Come on!
Liz Sherman: It's a Fragglewump. An ugly Scottish troll. They're afraid of canaries.
[Manning puts on the glasses and looks again]
Tom Manning: Oh, my God! Canaries, huh? What about the kittens?
Liz Sherman: She feeds on them.

Tom Manning: That thing is a "she?"

Tom Manning: "Undercover." Can't he get the meaning of the word? I mean, we are still government-funded, we are still a secret, although a dirty secret, if you ask me. Officially, we-do-not-exist. So, you see, that's the problem when we get these.
[shows Abe a series of photos]
Tom Manning: Subway... highway... ah, park.
[holds up one, showing

Hellboy giving a "peace" sign with his stone hand]
Tom Manning: And he posed for this one, and gave an autograph. I suppress each photo, cell phone videos, they cost me a fortune, and then they show up on Youtube... God, I hate Youtube!