Roadblock: In the immortal words of Jay-Z: "Whatever deity may guide my life, dear lord don't let me die tonight. But if I shall before I wake, I'd accept my fate."
Joe Colton: You alright?
Lady Jaye: Yeah. Are you alright?
Joe Colton: My cholesterol's a little high.
Captain Duke Hauser: Drive it like you stole it!
Roadblock: As your good friend, you need a new catchphrase.
Captain Duke Hauser: Anyone ever tell you, you fight ugly?
Roadblock: Not from their backs, they don't.
Joe Colton: [offering his minitank] It idles a little rough in neutral.
Roadblock: I ain't gonna be in neutral.
Joe Colton: Hoo-ah.
Roadblock: What about you?
Joe Colton: DOD says I can't come out of retirement. They didn't say anything about reenlisting.
Flint: We have to assume that there's no one we could trust.
Roadblock: There is one man. He's the reason we call ourselves Joes.
Joe Colton: It's not like I don't hear what you're saying. But an impostor president?
Flint: Well how come when the general says it, it sounds crazy?
Roadblock: Damn ninjas.
Lady Jaye: [in disguise] Mr President, Amy Vandervilt from Fox News.
Zartan: Oh, Fox, of course. That's why you look so fair and balanced.
Roadblock: [seeing Mouse is nervous] My first drop, I popped a live round into my mouth. It keeps your teeth from chattering. Give it a shot.
[gives him a bullet, which he puts into his mouth]
Mouse: Delicious.
Roadblock: Attaboy.
Cobra Commander: Destro... you're out of the band.
Joe Colton: [sneaking up behind the Joes] I'll take two cases of Thin Mints and a box of Chuckle Lucks. Lower your weapons.
Roadblock: General.
Joe Colton: Call me Joe.
Zartan: [as President] Well the good news is no global warming summit next month. Unless one of us cares enough about his place in history to unilaterally disable his warheads. You know, in the name of the children.
Zartan: You know, they call it a waterboard... but I never get bored!
[last lines]
Roadblock: Where can we find you, general?
Joe Colton: Just need my orders.
Roadblock: You know we'd make a hell of a team.
Roadblock: [to Snake Eyes, after planning to take down Cobra Commander] Snake Eyes, how's all of that sound?
[Snake Eyes is silent]
Roadblock: That's what I thought.
