Fargo Quotes

Gaear Grimsrud: Where is pancakes house?
Carl Showalter: What?
Gaear Grimsrud: We stop at pancakes house.
Carl Showalter: What... are you nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. Gotta go to a place I can get a shot and a beer, steak, maybe, not more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon.
[Gaear just stares at Carl]

Carl Showalter: Oh, come on, man! Okay, here's an idea: we can stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. Whaddya think?
Gaear Grimsrud: I'm fucking hungry now, you know!
Carl Showalter: Yeah yeah Jesus, I'm sayin' we can... stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?
[Gaear glares briefly]

Carl Showalter: You ever been to Minneapolis?
Gaear Grimsrud: Nope.
Carl Showalter: Would it... kill you to say something?
Gaear Grimsrud: I did.
Carl Showalter: "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's, a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a

geyser.

Carl Showalter: [entering cabin, with shot-up face] You should see the other guy.
Carl Showalter: [he sees Jean Lundegaard's dead body] What the fuck happened to her?
Gaear Grimsrud: [watching TV and eating TV dinner] Uh, she started shrieking, y'know. She wouldn't stop...
Carl Showalter: Geesus. Well, it

doesn't matter. I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand.
Carl Showalter: [he puts a couple stacks of bills down on table] That's forty for you, forty for me.
[Grimsrud pokes at the stacks of bills with his fork]
Carl Showalter: [puts a set of keys next to the money] That's it, then. You can have my truck. Here's the keys. I'm takin' the

Ciera.
Gaear Grimsrud: We split that.
Carl Showalter: [pause] How the fuck do you split a fuckin' car, ya dummy? With a fuckin' chainsaw?
Gaear Grimsrud: One of us pays the other for half.
Carl Showalter: Hold on! No fuckin' way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot! I got fuckin' shot in the

face! I went and got the fuckin' money. I got shot fuckin' picking it up! I've been up for thirty-six fuckin' hours! I'm taking' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine, you fuckin' asshole!
[as usual, no response from Grimsrud]
Carl Showalter: You know, I've been listening to your fuckin' bullshit all week! Are we square?
[no response from Grimsrud who continues

staring at the TV]
Carl Showalter: [flashing his gun] Are WE square?
[no response]
Carl Showalter: Yeah, ya fuckin' mute. And if you see your friend Shep Proudfoot, tell him I'm gonna nail his fuckin' ass!
[he exits angrily toward the Ciera; after a few seconds, Grimsrud follows him out the door with an axe in hand]
Carl

Showalter: [Showalter turns and sees Grimsrud striding toward him, axe raised] Oh no! Aaaaaah!
[Grimsrud brings the axe down toward Carl's neck]

[first lines]
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard.
Carl Showalter: You're Jerry Lundegaard?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ya. Shep Proudfoot said...
Carl Showalter: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives, man?
Jerry Lundegaard: Shep said 8:30.
Carl

Showalter: We've been sitting here an hour. He's
[motioning to Gaer]
Carl Showalter: peed three times already.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm sure sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess.

Carl Showalter: Would it... kill you to say something? "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a... that's fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa daddy! Stand back, man. Shit. I'm sitting here driving. Doing all the driving, man. The whole fucking way from Brainard driving. Just trying to... chat, you know. Keep our spirits up,

fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fucking thing just in the way of conversation. Oh fuck it. I don't have to talk to you either, man. See how you like it. Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

Jerry Lundegaard: I told ya. We haven't had any vehicles go missing.
Marge Gunderson: [cheerful tone] Okay! But are ya sure? 'Cause I mean, how do you know? Do you do a count, or what kind of a routine do you have here?
Jerry Lundegaard: [growing uncomfortable with the questioning] Ma'am, I answered your question!

Marge Gunderson: [long pause] I'm sorry, sir?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ma'am, I answered your question! I answered the darned... I'm cooperatin' here!
Marge Gunderson: [serious tone] Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me. I'm just doing my job here.
Jerry Lundegaard: I'm... I'm not arguing here! I'm

cooperating. So there's no need to... we're doin' all we can here.
Marge Gunderson: Sir, could I talk to Mr. Gustafson?
[Jerry gives her a glassy-eyed look, knowing full well that Gustafson is dead]
Marge Gunderson: Mr. Lundegaard?

[Jerry and an irate customer argue over a sealant that the customer had previously indicated he didn't want, after Jerry has gone off to pretend to talk to his boss]
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, we've never done this before. But seeing as it's special circumstances and all, he says I can knock a hundred dollars off that Trucoat.
Irate Customer: [stunned

that Jerry still intends to charge him for something he didn't order] One hundred... You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard. You're a bald-faced liar. A... fucking liar.
Irate Customer: [to his wife, frustrated] Where's my goddamn checkbook? Let's get this over with.

Mike Yanagita: [moves to Marge's side of the table and puts arms around her] Do you mind if I sit over here?
Marge Gunderson: No. Why don't you sit over there? I'd prefer that.
Mike Yanagita: Huh? Uh... ok.
[moves back to other side of table]
Mike Yanagita: Sorry.
Marge

Gunderson: Oh, no, no. Just so I can see you. I don't have to turn my neck.

Irate Customer: We sat right here, in this room, and went over this and over this.
Jerry Lundegaard: Yeah, but that TruCoat...
Irate Customer: I sat right here and said I didn't want any TruCoat.
Jerry Lundegaard: Yeah, but I'm saying that TruCoat. You don't get it, you get oxidation problems. It'll cost you a

heck of a lot more than $500.
Irate Customer: You're sitting there. You're talking in circles. You're talking like we didn't go over this already.
Jerry Lundegaard: Yeah, but this TruCoat...
Irate Customer: We had a deal here for nineteen-five. You sat there and darned if you didn't tell me you'd get me this car, these

options, without the sealant for nineteen-five.
Jerry Lundegaard: All right, I'm not saying I didn't...
Irate Customer: You called me 20 minutes ago and said you had it ready to make delivery! You says, "Come on down and get it." And, and, and here you are and you're wasting my time and my wife's time, and I'm paying nineteen-five for this vehicle

here!
Jerry Lundegaard: All right. I'll talk to my boss.
[gets up and turns before leaving]
Jerry Lundegaard: See, they install that TruCoat at the factory. There's nothing we can do about that.
[Customer ready to shout]
Jerry Lundegaard: but I'll talk to my boss.
Irate Customer: These

guys here. These guys. It's always the same! It's always more!