Crash Quotes

[Peter notices a St. Christopher statue in Hanson's car and starts laughing]
Officer Hanson: Something else funny?
Peter: Oh, yeah.
Officer Hanson: Yeah? What's that?
Peter: People, man. People.
Officer Hanson: People like me?
Peter: No, no, no, no. I'm

not laughin' at you, man.
Officer Hanson: I can see that. Why don't you laugh outside?
Peter: Why are you gettin' all bent outta shape?
Officer Hanson: I'm not gettin' bent, man. Just pulling over.
[Hanson pulls over his car to the side of the road]
Peter: Come on, man, keep drivin'. I said I'm

not laughing at you.
Officer Hanson: And I'm not telling you to get the fuck out of my car.
Peter: Why you bein' a fucking jerk, man? Just drive the car.
Officer Hanson: I've got a better idea. Get out, now.
Peter: Fine. You want me to show you? I'll show you.
[Peter puts his hand in his pocket]

Officer Hanson: Get your hands out of your pocket. Put your hands where I can see 'em!
Peter: Who the fuck you think you're talkin' to?
Officer Hanson: Put your hands where I can see them!
Peter: You wanna see what's in my hands? Here, I'll show you what's in my fuckin' hands!
[Peter puts his

hand back in his pocket, Hanson grabs his gun and shoots Peter. As Peter dies, his hand opens up to reveal a St. Christopher statue]

Anthony: No, no, no, take that voodoo-ass thing off of there right now!
Peter: I know you just didn't call St. Christopher voodoo. Man's the patron saint of travelers, dog.
Anthony: You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find? Why the hell

do you do that?
Peter: Look at the way your crazy ass drive, then ask me that again!

Motorcycle Cop: Calm down, ma'am.
Kim Lee: I am calm.
Motorcycle Cop: I need to see your registration and insurance.
Kim Lee: Why? Not my fault! It's her fault! She do this!
Ria: [approaching] My fault?
Motorcycle Cop: Ma'am, you really need to wait in your

vehicle.
Ria: [appraoching] My fault?
Kim Lee: Stop in the middle of street! Mexicans! No know how to drive! She blake too fast!
Ria: I "blake" too fast? I "blake" too fast? I'm sorry, you no see my "blake lights"?
Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...
Ria: [to Kim Lee] See, I stop

when I see long line of cars stop in front of me. Maybe you see over steering wheel, you "blake" too.
Motorcycle Cop: [to Ria] Ma'am...
Ria: Officer, can you please write down in your report how shocked I am to be hit by an Asian driver?

Gun Store Owner: Andy, get him out of here now!
Dorri: [to Farhad] Go, wait in the car.
Farhad: [to Gun Store Owner] You are ignorant man!
Gun Store Owner: I'm ignorant. You're liberating my country, and I'm flying seven four sevens into your mud huts and incinerating my friends. Get the fuck out of my store!

Officer Hanson: I don't want to cause any problems lieutenant, I just want a new partner.
Lt. Dixon: I understand, your partner is a racist prick, but you don't want to disturb any bad feelings for him.
Officer Hanson: Well, he's been on the force for a long time.
Lt. Dixon: Seventeen years.

Officer Hanson: And I do have to work here, Sir.
Lt. Dixon: So, you don't mind if there's a racist prick on the force, you just don't want him riding in your car?
Officer Hanson: If you need me to go on record about this, I will.
Lt. Dixon: That'd be great, write a full report. But I'm anxious to understand

how an obvious bigot can go undetected for seventeen years, eleven of which he was under my personal supervision, which doesn't speak too highly of my managerial skills, but that's not your concern. I can't wait to read it.
Officer Hanson: What if i said I wanted a new partner for personal reasons?
Lt. Dixon: So now you're saying he's not a racist

prick, you just don't like him?
Officer Hanson: Yes, Sir.
Lt. Dixon: That's not a good enough reason.
Officer Hanson: Then I should think of a better one and get back to you.
Lt. Dixon: So, you think I'm asking you to make one up?
Officer Hanson: No, Sir. I just can't think of

one right now.
Lt. Dixon: You want to know what I heard? I heard it was a case of uncontrollable flatulence.
Officer Hanson: You want me to say he has flatulence?
Lt. Dixon: Not him, you. You have uncontrollable flatulence and your too embarrassed to ride with anyone else. That's why your requesting a one man car.

Officer Hanson: I'm not comfortable with that, lieutenant.
Lt. Dixon: I wouldn't be either, which is why I understand your need for privacy, just like I'm sure you understand how hard a black man must work to get to stay where I am in a racist organization like the LAPD, and how easily that can be taken away. That being said, it's your decision. You can put

your career and mine on the line in pursuit of a just cause, or just admit to have an embarrassing problem of the personal nature.

Shaniqua: [talking on the phone] Mr. Ryan, your father has been to the clinic three times in the last month. He's been treated for a urinary tract infection that is by no means an emergency. Now, if you have any more questions about your HMO plan, why don't you make an appointment to come in between ten and four, Monday through Friday.
Officer Ryan: What

does my father do about sleeping tonight?
Shaniqua: I don't know. I'm not a Doctor.
Officer Ryan: I wanna talk to your supervisor...
Shaniqua: I am my supervisor!
Officer Ryan: Yeah, what's your name?
Shaniqua: Shaniqua Johnson.
Officer Ryan: Shaniqua. Big

fucking surprise that is!
Shaniqua: Oh!
[Shaniqua hangs up]

Officer Hanson: Hey. Maybe they didn't tell you, but I've been reassigned.
Officer Ryan: Yeah, they told me. I just wanted to say good luck and it was good riding with you.
Officer Hanson: You too.
Officer Ryan: Wait 'till you've been on the job a few more years. Look at me.
Officer

Hanson: Yeah.
Officer Ryan: Look at me. Wait 'till you've been doing it a little longer.