Roxie: He was trying to burgle me.
Assistant District Attorney Martin Harrison: From what I hear, he's been burgling you three times a week for the past month.
Velma Kelly: I just can't take it anymore. You can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato!
[Mama sits up with her hair dyed blonde like Roxie's]
Velma Kelly: Oh no, Mama, not you, too.
[his last lines]
Billy Flynn: You're a free woman, Roxie Hart. And God save Illinois.
Billy Flynn: This is Chicago, kid. You can't beat fresh blood on the walls.
Billy Flynn: Miss Kelly, did you make a deal with Assistant D.A. Harrison to drop all charges against you in exchange for your testimony?
Velma Kelly: Why, sure. I'm not a complete idiot.
Velma Kelly: Slick your hair and wear your buckle shoes... And all that jazz. I hear that father dip is gonna blow the blues... And all that jazz. Hold on hun we're gonna bunny hug, I bought some aspirin down at united drug. In case we shake apart and want a brand new start to do that Jazz.
Billy Flynn: Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous, row after row will grow vociferous.
Billy Flynn: Give 'em the old razzle dazzle. Razzle razzle 'em. Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it and the reaction will be passionate.
Roxie: They LOVE me.
Billy Flynn: They'd love you a lot more if you were hanged. You know why? Because it would sell more papers!
Matron Mama Morton: [singing] Don't you know that this hand washes that one, too? When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you.
Bandleader: Miss Velma Kelly in an act... of desperation
Roxie: And then I started foolin' around... and then I started screwin' around, which is foolin' around without dinner.
Matron Mama Morton: [singing] Let's all stroke together, like the Princeton crew. When you're strokin' Mama, MAMA'S STROKIN' YOU!
Velma Kelly: You wanted my advice, right? Well here it is. Don't forget Billy Flynn's number one client is... Billy Flynn.
Roxie: What's that supposed to mean?
Velma Kelly: It means, don't let him hog the spot-light when you're the one they paid to see.
Roxie: In the Bed Department, Amos was... zero. I mean, he made love to me like he was fixing a carburetor or something.
Roxie: I'm gonna be a celebrity, that means somebody everyone knows. They're gonna recognize my eyes, my hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose.
[Velma asks Moma how much it will cost her for a phone call]
Matron Mama Morton: Come on, Vel, you know how I feel about you. You're like family to me, one of my own.
[pause]
Matron Mama Morton: I'll do it for fifty.
