Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.
I'm not sure if I can swagger anymore, but I can limp with the best of them.
To be successful in business, you have to be ruthless.
I sometimes will be very shut off from everybody. I can be very pettish and sometimes not available when you need me. At those times, I'm very selfish and worrying about my own problems.
The moment you grab someone by the lapels, you're lost.
When you crash and burn, you have to pick yourself up and go on and hope to make up for it.
Paul Newman is the personification of cool.
I can sing as well as Fred Astaire can act.
I'm going to retire hopefully like Cary Grant did. I'll be on stage telling a story, everyone's going to applaud and laugh, and then I'll drop like a rock.
Frankly, it's embarrassing to have a house filled with giant portraits of yourself.
I hate prejudice of any kind, whether it be color or sexual preference.
I felt good when I did a stunt, and if it was really dangerous - like if I got out on a horse or a bull that was rank, or jumped out of this building on a bag - I felt great.
You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.
The stupidest thing I ever did was turn down 'Terms of Endearment' to do 'Cannonball Run II.' Jim Brooks wrote the part of the astronaut for me. Taking that role would have been a way to get all the things I wanted.
Most guys with toupees overcompensate. They want too much hair. They end up piling it high, looking like a weird flower.
Jay Leno is wonderful and a good friend, but it will always be the Carson show to a lot of people.
I've always gotten along well with Texans. You've got to.
If I hadn't been an actor, I would have been a coach, and I would have been a good one. All teaching is is communicating.
My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave.
I haven't been somebody who's been smart about his money. There are a couple of actors who are quite brilliant with the way they've handled their money. But they're not very good actors.
