Mark Darcy: All right Cleaver, outside.
Daniel Cleaver: [half laughing] I'm sorry? Outside? Should I bring my dueling pistols or my sword?
Daniel Cleaver: [after crashing through the window] Uhh... Jesus. All right.
Mark Darcy: All right?
Daniel Cleaver: Enough.
Mark Darcy: Enough enough.
[Darcy begins to walk away]
Daniel Cleaver: Wanker.
[Darcy punches him hard, knocking Cleaver down]
[regarding the blue soup]
Bridget: How's it look?
Mark: Uh, great. It's, um, blue.
Bridget: Blue?
Mark: No, but, blue is good. If you ask me there isn't enough blue food.
Bridget: Oh, shit! It must be the string.
Mark: Oh, it's string soup?
Bridget: [to Cosmo and Woney] Tell me, is it one in four marriages that end in divorce these days, or one in three?
Mark Darcy: One in three.
Jude: Just as you are? Not thinner? Not cleverer? Not with slightly bigger breasts or slightly smaller nose?
Bridget: No.
Shazzer: Well, fuck me.
Tom: This is someone you hate right?
Bridget: Yes, yes, I hate him.
[Bridget glimpses Mark for the first time]
Bridget: Perhaps this is the mysterious Mr. Right I have been waiting my whole life to meet.
[sees reindeer sweater]
Bridget: Maybe not.
[bursting into a Greek restaurant]
Tom: FIGHT. Come on then, it's a real fight.
Bridget: [referring to Darcy's and Cleaver's bad relationship] That's why you always acted so strangely around him, and beat him to a pulp quite rightly.
[awkward pause]
Bridget: Well done.
Bridget: [as Una Alconberry] No, Pam. Besides, the gravy needs sieving.
Mark Darcy: [as Pamela Jones] Surely not, just stir it Una.
Mark Darcy: [about Bridget's attempt at caper berry gravy] I have to say, this really is the most incredible shit.
Bridget: Look, are you and Cosmo in on this together? Because every time I see you, you seem to go out of your way to make me feel like a *complete* idiot. And you really needn't bother: I already feel like an idiot most of the time anyway - with or without the fireman's pole.
Bridget: This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.
Bridget: Daniel, what you just did is actually illegal in several countries.
Daniel Cleaver: That is one of the reasons that I'm so thrilled to be living in Britain today.
Bridget: So what do you think of the situation in Chechnya?
Daniel Cleaver: I couldn't give a fuck, Jones.
Lara: [to Daniel, about Bridget] I thought you said she was thin.
Bridget: [rummaging through her fridge] Where the fuck's the fucking tuna?
[imitating her line on TV]
Bridget: This is Bridget Jones, with Sit Up Britain, searching for tuna.
