Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You're weird.
Annie: I'm not weird. OK?
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Yes, you are.
Annie: No, I'm not! And you started it.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: No, you started it! Did you forget to take your Xanax this morning?

Annie: Oh, I feel bad for your parents.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: I feel bad for your face.
Annie: OK... well, call me when your boobs come in.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You call me when yours come in.
Annie: What do you have, four boyfriends?

13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Exactly.
Annie: OK... yeah, have fun having a baby at your prom.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: You look like an old mop.
Annie: You know, you're not as popular as you think you are.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: I am very popular.

Annie: [sticks tongue in cheek and mimics fellatio] Oh, I'm sure you are... very... popular.
13-Year-Old Girl in Jewelry Store: Well, you're an old, single loser who's never going to have any friends.
Annie: You're a little cunt!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Megan: I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Helen: [Crying] Why are you smiling?
Annie: It's just... it's the first time I've ever seen you look ugly... and that makes me kind of happy.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Annie: You read my diary?
Brynn: At first I did not know it was your diary, I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Flight Attendant Steve: You have 3 seconds to get back to your seat.
Annie: No one can get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a loss already.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Helen's Stepson: I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Annie: Whatever you say 'Stove'.
Flight Attendant Steve: It's Steve.
Annie: 'Stove' what kind of a name is that?
Flight Attendant Steve: That's not a name. My name is Steve.
Annie: Are you an appliance?
Flight Attendant Steve: No I am a man, and my name is Steve.


Annie: You're a flight attendant.
Flight Attendant Steve: That is, absolutely accurate. You can close that.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Annie: [after Helen insists the flight attendant allow Annie to use her first class seat] Help me I'm poor.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Megan: This is some classy sh-...
[burp]
Megan: I want to apologize. I'm not even confident on which end that came out of.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.
Annie: Rita!
Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.
Lillian: She has three kids now.
Rita: Three boys.
Lillian: They're so cute.
Rita: They are cute, but when

they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?
Annie: I do, yeah.
Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in half!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Brynn: We would like to invite you to no longer live with us.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Becca: You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?
Annie's Mom: Annie?
Annie: No, mom. Mother fucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!
Lillian: Annie, calm down...
Annie: No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you

gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?
Becca: [quickly] I'm not.
Megan: I was.
Annie: Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?


Annie's Mom: Annie...
Annie: Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous, and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that *fucking* cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie?

Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that *fucking* cookie!
[storms off]

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Helen: I went to Thailand recently with my husband, Perry, and there's a beautiful saying that I learned there.
[Speaking Thai]
Helen: It means, "You are a part of me, a part that I could never live without. And I hope and I pray that I never have to." Khob-kun-Ka
[Bows to the crowd]
Helen: khob-kun-Ka, khob-kun-Ka. And

that's it for tonight! Thank you for coming!
Annie: [interjecting] Really quick!
Helen: Thank you all for coming. The dessert wine is out.
Annie: I just wanted to say really quick.
Helen: [calling out] Consuelo!
Annie: Really quick! Speaking of Consuelo, Lillian and I took

Spanish together in school. And so, I would just like to say to you and to everyone here, "Gracias para vivar en la casa, en la escuelas, en... en la azul... "markada". Tienes con "bibir" en las Fortuashla?" and gracias!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Ted: This is so awkward. I really want you to leave, but I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick.

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Annie: You're really doing it, aren't ya? You're shitting in the street!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Megan: It's coming out of me like lava!

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Gil: Before you make those kinds of demands you should put a note on your door that says, "Do not come into my room and read my diary and wear my clothes."

Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids

Megan: I'm life, Annie, and I'm biting you in the ass!
[bites Annie's ass]