Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) Quotes

Riggan: The last time I flew here from LA, George Clooney was sitting two seats in front of me. With those cuff links, and that... ridiculous chin. We ended up flying through this really bad storm. The plane started to rattle and shake, and everyone on board was crying, and praying. And I just sat there. Sat there thinking that when Sam opened that paper it was going to be

Clooney's face on the front page. Not mine. Did you know that Farrah Fawcett died on the same day as Michael Jackson?

Mike Shiner: [to Riggan] Don't tell me how to do my job. This is my town, and to be honest, most people don't give a shit about you here.
Lady in Bar: Hey, you're Riggan Thompson, right? Would you mind having a picture with us here?
[hands phone to Mike]
Lady in Bar: Would you mind?
Mike Shiner: What?

Lady in Bar: The button's on the bottom.

Mike Shiner: Give me a cue again.
Riggan: Okay. "Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I don't actually know the man, I've heard his name mentioned in passing. I don't know, you'd have to know the particulars. I think what you're saying..."
Mike Shiner: Hey, can I make a suggestion, do you mind?
Riggan: Yeah, yeah

sure, no not at all.
Mike Shiner: Okay, just stay with me. "I'm the wrong person to ask," he says, but what is that, what is the intention in that? Is he fed up with the subject so he's changing it, is he deflecting guilt over the marriage? And here's the thing, you've got four lines after that that all say the same thing. "I didn't even know the man, I only heard his name

mentioned in passing, I wouldn't know, you'd have to know the particulars..." The point is, you don't know the guy, we f - king get it. Make it work with one line: "I didn't even know the man." Right?
Riggan: Right. Yeah. You know my lines too, huh?
Mike Shiner: Can we not get hung up on knowing lines?

Crazy Man: "Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
[sees Riggan]
Crazy Man: Where you going man? Is that too much? I was just trying to give you a range. It's a little bit too much, I can tell...

Sam: Do you really think you'll be ready for opening tomorrow?
Riggan: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, previews were pretty much a train-wreck. We can't seem to get through without a raging fire or a raging hard-on. I'm broke. I'm not sleeping like, you know, at all. And um, this play is kinda starting to feel like a major deformed version of myself that

just keeps following me around, hitting me in the balls with a tiny little hammer. I'm sorry, what was the question?
Sam: Never mind.

Clara: Now, is it true that you've been injecting yourself with semen from baby pigs?
Riggan: I'm sorry, what?
Clara: As a method of facial rejuvenation.
Riggan: Where did you read that?
Clara: It was tweeted by @prostatewhispers.
Riggan: No, that's not true.

Clara: I know, but did you do it?
Riggan: No, I didn't do it.
Clara: Okay, then I'll just write that you're denying it.
Riggan: No, don't write anything! Why would you write anything? I didn't... don't write what she said.