Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.
Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
[Julian is taking a leak]
Julian: How come you're not going?
Sonny: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.
[afternoticing Julian had wet the bed]
Sonny: My God, that's a shit load of piss.
Sonny: Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant Hooters!
Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.
Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.
Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.
Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.
[about the Kangaroo song]
Sonny: [to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious?
[Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song]
Sonny: [under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.
Sonny: [Mocking Corinne] "We wasted the good surprise on you!"
Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Sonny: Yeah.
Layla: Is that strange for you?
Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
Corinne: We wasted the good surprise on you!
Sonny: What's in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?
[Sonny is on the stand at the custody hearing for Julian]
Tommy: [stands up] Objection!
Lenny: Shut up, Tommy!
Tommy: [sits down] Sorry, Mr. Koufax.
[discussing Julian's doll Scuba Steve]
Nazo: I had doll like that once. But my cat, he bite his head off!
Julian: What kind of cat would do that?
Nazo: You calling me a liar?
Sonny: What do you eat?
Julian: Food.
Sonny: Oh yea? Well I eat food too.
Mr. Herlihy: Goddamn Jets!
Waitress: Hey, cutie! What are you doing here?
Julian: Watching football.
Waitress: Oh yea, who do you want to win?
Julian: The Goddamn Jets.
Sonny: What's your name, he'll write it on the wall... mind your business!
