Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Elizabeth Halsey: [takes bite out of an apple] I thought the teachers were supposed to get the apples.
Amy Squirrel: Well I think the students teach me at least as much as I teach them. That's just something I say sometimes.
Elizabeth Halsey: Stupid.
[tosses apple at a recycle bin and misses]

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Scott Delacorte: Thank you, Elizabeth, for listening.
Elizabeth Halsey: Scott, I want you to know you can talk to me about anything.
Scott Delacorte: Do you wanna fuck?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yes! But don't you have a girlfriend?
Elizabeth Halsey: Don't worry, I have the best solution.

Scott Delacorte: [Elizabeth and Scott start to dry hump each other in a hotel room] Your jeans feel so good against my jeans.
Elizabeth Halsey: Totally!
Scott Delacorte: Hey, your body feels so good.
Elizabeth Halsey: I need some water.
Scott Delacorte: I'm dry humping the shit out

of you.
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah, dry-fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
Scott Delacorte: I've been fantasizing about this ever since we got to Springfield.
Elizabeth Halsey: This? Me too.
Scott Delacorte: I'm close. Don't move. Here I go. Almost.

Wait for it.
Scott Delacorte: Really close. Ready?
Elizabeth Halsey: Yeah. Come on baby, cum for me! Come on! Oh, yeah!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking! Oh, yeah. Almost there.
Elizabeth Halsey: [Scott cums on Elizabeth's back] Fuck! That was amazing! Well, I'm gonna get going. I don't want the kids

to see me leaving your room.

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

School Secretary: [reading off desk sticker] Learning is fun-tastic.
Elizabeth Halsey: What'd you say to me?

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Elizabeth Halsey: This was a warning. Next time, I don't call the principal. I call the cops

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Principal Wally Snur: Well, it's been another great year here at JAMS. With summer around the corner, it's time to say goodbye not only to another school year, but also to one of our own. Amy Squirrel. After six short years, Amy is transferring out of the district.
Sandy Pinkus: Speech, speech!
[Amy, her face completely healed, gets up from the couch

with an obviously pursed smile]
Amy Squirrel: Wally, thank you for those kind words, and thank you all. My decision that I made myself to leave was super difficult, but when the superintendent personally asks you to work at one of the worst schools in the state, well, you say, "Yes." And, boy, I am looking forward to bringing my brand of zany energy to those underprivileged

students at Malcolm X High School.
[takes a bow]
Amy Squirrel: Thank you.
[Elizabeth exits the teachers' lounge. Scott steps in her way]
Scott Delacorte: Hey, Elizabeth. Listen, since Amy's transferring, I was thinking, maybe the two of us could start over.
[turns away, then turns back to Elizabeth]
Scott

Delacorte: Oh, hey there. Scott Delacorte. And you are?
Elizabeth Halsey: [smiles] Leaving.
[walks away]

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Elizabeth Halsey: [Waking up early after a night out] Fuck my ass!

Bad Teacher
Bad Teacher

Elizabeth Halsey: For the record, there's a shitload of things that I hate about you, but I still, would've gotten married. Because I love you.
Mark: I'm gonna need the ring back.
Elizabeth Halsey: You sad little troll! I hope you and your hooker enjoy chlamydia together!