Russell Gettis: That was a nice thing you did for him.
Elizabeth Halsey: He was going through a difficult time.
Russell Gettis: I am going through a difficult time. May I have your panties?
Elizabeth Halsey: I'm not wearing any.
Elizabeth Halsey: Sign my yearbook.
Russell Gettis: Hold my ball sack.
Shawn: LeBron is a better rebounder and passer.
Russell Gettis: LeBron will never beat Jordan. Call me when LeBron has six championships.
Shawn: That's your only argument?
Russell Gettis: It's the only argument I need Shawn!
Elizabeth Halsey: Get yourself hard, 'cause I'm gonna suck your dick like I'm mad at it.
Lynn Davies: I love how his eyes sparkle.
Elizabeth Halsey: I want to sit on his face.
Principal Wally Snur: I have received a call from Mark's dad saying the car wash was a success, and then I got a call from Chase's dad about the car wash being a great success, and then a call from Danni's dad saying we should have a car wash every weekend. So whatever she did, worked.
Elizabeth Halsey: Did you know I walked in on him trying to fuck his dog? Peanut butter everywhere.
[the police find Elizabeth's drug stash in Amy's desk]
Amy Squirrel: That is not mine. This isn't even my desk, it's hers.
Elizabeth Halsey: [with fake sympathy] Don't worry, Amy. We'll get you the help you need.
Amy Squirrel: [enraged] You MONSTER!
[lunges at Elizabeth, only to be dragged off by the police]
Scott Delacorte: Hey, they don't make songs like this anymore, right?
Russell Gettis: Ya know, that's actually not true, Scott. I'm writing a song right now called 855824177 ext. 777.
Mark: If the younger generation doesn't get into opera, then, guess what? No more opera! An art form has died. If opera goes away, we're fucked!
Amy Squirrel: [as she is being dragged away] Fucking dammit! What the fuck? I stole her desk! You can check my urine! CHECK IT! CHECK MY URINE!
Elizabeth Halsey: Hello titties.
Elizabeth Halsey: I tell you what I know. A kid who wears the same gymnastics sweatshirt three days a week isn't getting laid until he's 29. that's what I know.
Russell Gettis: Twilight, what did we talk about in class? Throw it through her, not at her.
Amy Squirrel: Shut the front door.
Carl Halabi: [slurred] I'm gonna rock your vagina.
Elizabeth Halsey: Well, that's my spiel, as the Jews say.
Russell Gettis: So i heard about the whole engagement thing. That blows.
Elizabeth Halsey: Did you know i walk in on him trying to fuck his dog. Peanut Butter everywhere.
Scott Delacorte: Oh, I'm dry humping the shit out of you.
Elizabeth Halsey: Oh yeah, dry fuck the fuck out of me, Scott!
Scott Delacorte: Just stop talking.
