Marcus Burnett: You damn right it's limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we're the balls just draggin' the fuck along.
Mike Lowrey: [while looking at a photo album with Marcus's wife, Theresa and answers the phone, which Marcus dials] Hey, is this you, man?
Theresa Burnett: No, no. Put that back in, c'mon put that back in.
[Marcus hears this over the phone, thinking that Mike and Theresa are having sex, and becomes overly upset]
Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.
Marcus Burnett: You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.
Mike Lowrey: King Dingaling.
Mike Lowrey: [to the White Carjacker holding a gun to his head] Let me tell you how bad a day you're having: right now you're jacking a couple of cops.
White Carjacker: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm a stand-up comedian. And I SUCK! That's why I need your car.
Marcus Burnett: [trying to imitate Mike] Hello, this is Mike Low-rey...
Captain Howard: He doesn't talk that way. Try to talk like him, like him! Try to talk sexy. Sexy, you don't talk sexy enough!
Marcus Burnett: Cap, Cap! I've been there.
[Julie is handcuffed to a steering wheel]
Julie Mott: [to herself] "Hi Julie, what have you been up to the last couple of days?" Oh nothing, just hangin' out, handcuffed to steering wheels.
Marcus Burnett: You forgot your boarding pass.
Mike Lowrey: Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on, that's how you drive!
Marcus Burnett: Naw man, naw. There's too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound like them.
[In high pitched voice]
Marcus Burnett: We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar?
Marcus Burnett: Hey, man, where-where-where's your cup holder?
Chet the Doorman: [to Marcus showing up unannounced at Mike's apartment building, after seeing Julie waiting outside] how are you? Long time no see, Mr. Lowery's not here, he's out, who's the chick? How's your wife?
Mike Lowrey: Can we help you?
Julie Mott: Hey, I... I staked out all night in the back of that jalopy, too. You know, I think I earned a peek.
Mike Lowrey: Hey. Hey, this is real cop stuff, okay? This is not "Charlie's Angels".
