Anger Management
Anger Management

[fleeing the monastery]
Dr. Buddy Rydell: You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Lou: Eskimos seem nice.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: I want you to approach Miss Thing again...
Dave Buznik: No!
Dr. Buddy Rydell: ...with confidence! And if she says no this time, I will admit that I am a failure as a therapist and I will release you from my program.
Dave Buznik: You'll release me from your program
[Buddy nods]

Dave Buznik: Okay...
Dr. Buddy Rydell: [They stand up] Just go over there and repeat the following verbatim. "I'm sorry I was so rude before but it's difficult for me to express myself when I am on the verge of exploding in my pants."
Dave Buznik: Huh?
[They sit down]
Dave Buznik: Get outta here.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Trust me Dave. If you were calm as well as witty, she will respond.
Dave Buznik: I think witty went out the window with that whole pants-explosion thing.
Dr. Buddy Rydell: My offer stands.
Dave Buznik: So if I repeat that crazy shit you probably stole from a porno flick, you sick bastard, and

get rejected, you'll release me from the program?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Exactly.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Cabbie: Let's get this thing movin'! What the hell is your problem?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: [shouting] Shut your pie hole, we're working here!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Chuck: You come down here before the black wolf swallows my brain! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Rudy Giuliani: You can do it!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Chuck: I think Eskimos are smug.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dave Buznik: [about to be shot by angry man] Let me just ask you one question.
[singing]
Dave Buznik: Who's the pretty girl in the mirror there?
Lexus Man: [singing] What mirror where?
[shoots gun which is really water gun]

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: [while taking a shower] Salagadoola mechicka boola bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Blind Man: Happy now, asswipe?

Anger Management
Anger Management

Judge Brenda Daniels: [Dr. Buddy Rydell has volunteered to help Dave Buznik] You think you can help him?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Yep. And if I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: By the way, I like to sleep in the nude.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Let's say hello to someone who's joining our quest to get the anger monkeys off our backs: Dave.
Dave Buznik: Hi. Good news, I fed my anger monkey a banana this morning and he's feeling much better.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: First it was a 5-second kiss, and then a little break because my beard gave her a tickle. She's cute, and then a 10-second frenchie.
Dave Buznik: You had your crazy, corroded tongue in my girlfriend's mouth?

Anger Management
Anger Management

Mayor Rudy Giuliani: [In Yankees stadium] You can do it, David! Give her a five-second frencher!

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dave Buznik: Let me ask you guys something. Because of your profession, you probably have seen a lot of them. Does size count at all, or is that just some weird thing guys think about?
Stacy: Alright you see this is where Gina and I always get into a heated debate. I like them when they're really big.
Gina: And I think it's better

when they're enormous.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Air Marshall: This is a difficult time for our Country.

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: For crying out loud, you are missing important plot points.
[cut to the TV showing three topless men in a sauna]

Anger Management
Anger Management

Dr. Buddy Rydell: [Lying in bed together] In Europe, it's not uncommon for three or four men to share a bed.
Dave Buznik: Yeah, well that's why I'm proud to be an American.