Charles Follen Adams
Charles Follen Adams

I haf von funny leedle poy
Vot comes schust to mine knee;
Der queerest schap, der createst rogue,
As ever you dit see.
He runs und schumps and schmashes dings
In all barts off der house:
But vot off dot? He vas mine son,
Mine leedle Yawcob Strauss.

Al Capone
Al Capone

The funny part of the whole thing is that a man in this line of business has so much company. I mean his customers. If people did not want beer and wouldn't drink it, a fellow would be crazy for going around trying to sell it!

Sherman Alexie
Sherman Alexie

Somebody dies and people eat your food. Funny how that works.

Fred Allen
Fred Allen

A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.

Lily Allen
Lily Allen

Get up in the morning and you like your tea milky,
You fumble for your glasses coz without 'em you cant see,
It's funny how I come round your house and I'm 20
and I still have to wear all the presents you sent me.
I walk into your kitchen everything's got a label,
you done your Christmas shopping and we're only in April.
And you wont leave the house unless your wearing your

thermals,
you're covered all in cat hair and you're stinking like Strepsils,
Your heading down the Bowls Club,
have another orange squash.
Balls are rollin rollin rollin.
You can't walk right coz things aren't what they were,
your ankles are swollen swollen swollen.

Steve Allen
Steve Allen

Allen, Steve. Funny People (1981)..

Martin Amis
Martin Amis

Of obvious appeal to the humourless is the writer who comes on stage in a clown outfit or King Kong suit, with party hat and harem slippers, with banana skins and custard pies… It remains a sound rule that funny journalism can only flourish as the offshoot or sideline of something larger. No funny journalist who is that and nothing more will ever write anything lastingly funny.

Reza Aslan
Reza Aslan

A politician is a politician whether he's wearing a suit or a funny hat.

David Attenborough
David Attenborough

I often get letters, quite frequently, from people who say how they like the programmes a lot, but I never give credit to the almighty power that created nature. To which I reply and say, "Well, it's funny that the people, when they say that this is evidence of the Almighty, always quote beautiful things. They always quote orchids and hummingbirds and butterflies and roses." But I always have to

think too of a little boy sitting on the banks of a river in west Africa who has a worm boring through his eyeball, turning him blind before he's five years old. And I reply and say, "Well, presumably the God you speak about created the worm as well," and now, I find that baffling to credit a merciful God with that action. And therefore it seems to me safer to show things that I know to be truth,

truthful and factual, and allow people to make up their own minds about the moralities of this thing, or indeed the theology of this thing.

Amitabh Bachchan
Amitabh Bachchan

It's nothing really. It's the unique presentation that makes me look good in the action scenes. Why did I dare do them? That's a funny question! Why do I act? Why do I breathe!