When you tell a recruiter that you're almost 300 pounds and you want to be a SEAL, it doesn't go too well. I got hung up on a lot.
I've always respected Coach Frank. I kind of publicly recruited him because I really need him and want him. I'm kind of the college recruiter now because he brings a lot to the table. He's had success here and understands the good and the bad, so I'm recruiting him to join my staff.
Deadpool: 41 confirmed kills. Now it's 80. About to be 90.
Recruiter: Mr. Wilson?
Deadpool: Ding-ding.
Recruiter: You're looking very alive.
Deadpool: Ha! Only on the outside!
Recruiter: This is not going to end well for me, is it?
Deadpool: This is not gonna end well for you, no. Where's your boss?
Recruiter: I can tell you exactly...
Deadpool: Oh, you tell me. But first... You might wanna look way for this. Now this little piggy went to...
[pushes the camera away and the Recruiter screams]
Nick Naylor: [Narrating] Bobby Jay works for S.A.F.E.T.Y., the Society for the Advancement of Firearms and Effective Training for Youth. After watching the footage of the Kent State shootings, Bobby Jay, then seventeen, signed up for the National Guard so that he too could shoot college students. But, the National Guard recruiter was out to lunch, so Bobby Jay ended up shooting
Panamanians instead. Which is almost as fun as shooting college students, only they shoot back.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: You poor bastard. I bet your recruiter promised you a whole wide world of pussy, huh?
Kruger: Fuckin' eh. Cocksucker knew the price of every whore from Olangapo to Stockholm.
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: And here we are, headed to the desert - no pussy and a thousand miles.
Kruger:
Fucked by the green weenie again!
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Well, what would you be doing if you were a civilian? Staying up late, jacking off, playing Metroid - trying to get to that ninth level?
Troy: You know what happens when you get there?
[laughs]
Troy: Nothing. You just start all over again.