To be the key player in creating and scoring goals, that's what I take pride in, and the thing I know how to do best.
I'm not saying I didn't have ample time to recover, ample time to get to my best, I felt this year I did fine. When I stepped on the field for the national team, I was ready and able to make an impact, to score goals, to create chances.
My philosophy about the game, for instance, is that you have players out there who really do different things.
You can't ask every player to do the same thing. That's why we have amazing midfielders, defenders, forwards and keepers. You can't ask them to be of the same mold.
I can't pretend to be enjoying this. I can't pretend I'm enjoying going out there and playing this style.
I think it's sad to me that I had to make a decision to not play the game that I feel like I'm best at and that I love. But if it was just about the game itself, I'd be there in a heartbeat. But that's not how the real world works.
I couldn't change who I am; I couldn't change the kind of player I am.
Soccer's not a game that you can restrict players, especially creative players and players who have proven themselves at that level.
It's not like you make a decision and everything inside you is 100 percent happy.
But that in and of itself this past year was not a factor in what I did for the national team every time I stepped out there, or in training, or when I stepped out there in the WUSA.
I want to be the goal scorer and the play maker out there. I have been doing that all my life.
Coaches give you too much information. I've been allowed to develop that intuitive ability in my career and lifetime.
I've known since I went to the national team when I was very young that I was a different bird.
I am somebody who... - I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I need that freedom, that ability to make mistakes out there. Because there's a fine line between making a mistake or being brilliant.
I don't think the game should be perfect. It's 95 percent mistakes out there - you have to work with 10 players on your side and another 11 against you. It's a crazy, chaotic game.
