The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Philippe: My true disability is not having to be in a wheel chair. It's having to be without her.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Philippe: Tell me Driss, why do you think people are interested in art?
Driss: I don't know, it's a business?
Philippe: No. That's because it's the only thing one leaves behind

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: Where do you find a paraplegic?
Philippe: I don't know.
Driss: Where you leave him.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Philippe: [Driss shaves François beard turning into a weird mustache] Oh, it's awful.
[moments later, it's turned into a old-fashioned mustache]
Philippe: I look like my grandpa.
Driss: Okay. Let me shave the rest off.
Philippe: [François now has a Hitler mustache] No, come on.

Driss: That's not funny, no?
Philippe: Don't you mean "nein"?
[does a German gibberish, they both laugh later on]

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: 100 euros says I can lose them.
Philippe: You're on.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: [after listening to classical music] We listened to your classics. Now it's time to listen to mine.
[plays Earth Wind & Fire]

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: I'm not going in there, even you! I'm not gonna lead you in the back like a horse.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Philippe: Hope well and have well.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[Orchestra plays next symphony]
Driss: Oh I know this one. Everyone know it. Of course.
[mockingly]
Driss: You have reached the Paris unemployment agency. All our lines are currently busy. The estimated waiting time is two years.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[repeated line]
Driss: She got the hots for me.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: So if you have red ears, it means you're turned on?
Philippe: That's it. Sometimes I even wake up with hard lobes.
[Both laugh]
Driss: Both of them?
[They laugh even harder]

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: Guys from the north drink so much, they're all beating their ladies. She'll see there's no risk with you.
[Philippe chuckles]

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[Orchestra plays next symphony]
Driss: Isn't it Tom and Jerry?
Philippe: [resisting to laugh] Tom and Jerry. What a rascal. Help.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: It's not about being ready. I do not do that. I don't empty a stranger's butt. I don't even empty a friend's butt. I usually don't empty butts. It's a matter of principles.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[repeated line]
Elisa: Leave me alone.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: What a seducer! He's epistoling like a boss.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[while Driss is shaving Philippe, the razor near his jugular]
Philippe: A quick cut would settle it.
Driss: You're in great shape. I love it.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

[first lines]
Driss: [while driving] Outta the way.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Driss: Can't the motivation sign for you?
Philippe: No no no, Magalie can't do that.
Driss: It's a shame. She could have dropped in her number as well.

The Intouchables
The Intouchables

Philippe: [teasing] What's the matter, you're dealing with the stockings, you have a cute little earring, I think it's coherent.
Driss: Easy on the sass, alright.
[Philippe laughs]