I'm strictly a sugar-free Red Bull guy. I'd rather enjoy my sugar intake elsewhere.
Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head.
People say, 'Oh, you're doing the job of journalists.' I think it's very important to note that we can't do our job without journalists. Journalists can do their job without late-night comedians. They'd be just fine without us. But we, of course, use their work every day to build our pieces.
Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke.
My mother is an incredibly beautiful woman who has laughed at every single thing my father's ever said. At a young age, my brother and I understood that if you can make girls laugh, you can punch well above your weight class.
'SNL' after-parties are sort of like a time to celebrate your successes and drown your sorrows, depending on how the show went for you.
The nice thing about anger is that, as an emotion, it's strong enough to unplug me from the comedian's mind for a minute and just be a frustrated member of the citizenry.
My parents introduced me to 'SNL,' Monty Python, and Richard Pryor probably way earlier than they had any right to.
I started in high school, and in college, I studied radio, TV, and film. The plan was to be a filmmaker, and it was always comedy.
I was very much aiming to go into movies eventually, like a lot of 'SNL' people. But, soon after I arrived, all these really good actors started, like Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg, and I thought, 'If I were casting a movie, I would put all of them in it over me.'
Politicians don't say no to cameras very often.
The hands are the feet of the arms.
I'm a terrible grocery shopper. I hardly ever do it. And if I do, there's never more than three things in the bag.
When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend.
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.
I love cheese plates. Though I actually hate cheese plates. Because I can't say no to them.
I always thought I'd be a father.
I don't know what else to do other than tell people what I think to be untruths.
It's weird to sit as a comedian. Being still drives me crazy.
