Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Easter Island Head: Hey! Dum-dum!
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My

name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[People screaming]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun.
[Larry runs as Attila and his gang are chasing him]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Teddy Roosevelt: I'm made of wax, Larry. What are you made of?

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Jedediah: No problemo, Gigantor.
Larry: Um, my name's Larry, first of all okay, Jed? See, I call you Jed, I don't call you tiny, right?
Jedediah: What's that supposed to mean?
Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.

Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me feel like some sort of freak.
Octavius: I don't. I just call you Larry.
Larry: Don't be a kiss-ass.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: [looks up at Dexter] Hey, Dex, so, look. No hard feelings, all right?
Teddy Roosevelt: [Dexter slaps Larry in the forehead and Larry raises his clipboard to hit him] Lawrence!
Larry: You saw - you saw what he did just then...
Teddy Roosevelt: [interupting him] Who's evolved?

Larry: I am.
Teddy Roosevelt: Who's evolved?
Larry: I am!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Easter Island Head: [shouts] Quiiiiieeeeeeettttt!
[silence]
Easter Island Head: My dum-dum want to speak.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Instructions; you start with 1... 2... 3...
Larry: 4?
Gus: Are you crackin' wise? I oughta punch you in the nose, Hopscotch.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: He looks like a weirdy!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: [speaking to Civil War diorama figures] Civil war dudes... You guys are brothers, for God's sake... You gotta stop fighting... North wins... Slavery is bad... Sorry... Don't want to burst your bubble but South, you guys get Allman Brothers...
[hesitates]
Larry: ...and... Nascar. So just chill!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Listen up, Lunch Box!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Sweet dreams, cupcake.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Do you want to dance, hot dog?

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: [to the monkey, Dexter] Oh, hey, Dexter. I'm just locking up. Do you want in?
[Dexter walks in and climbs up to his tree]
Larry: [Dexter smiles from the tree, holding a set of baby toy keys] I don't think so. Looks like Uncle Larry pulled a fast one on little Dexy.
[locks up the entrance to the Hall of African Mammals]

Larry: Those are baby keys for a little baby. So have fun playing with your little baby keys, little baby monkey. Maybe tomorrow, I'll bring you a little baby "diapie" so you can go poo-poo in it. Then, I'll change it for you. Then I'll tickle you 'cause you're a cute little baby. Will you cry all night about how Uncle Larry fooled you? Told you there was a storm comin'.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: I'm trusting you guys, alright? And if you don't do what I say, you'll end up like your little buddies in the Mayan world over there, locked up. Take a look. Do they look happy?
[Shows a display with bars across it]
Jedediah: [Shakes head] No. They look sad.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Name's Jedadiah.
Larry: Alright, Jedadiah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: Big no can do, crackerjack.
Larry: What's going on here, huh?
Jedediah: Somebody's got to

pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and just take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
Jedediah: [shouts] Now full speed ahead and ram 'im! Split his

head like a watermelon!
Larry: [Train hits Larry in the face] Ooh! Ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for crying out loud!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Do you want the job or not, snack shack?

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Gus: Keep a lid on it, butterscotch.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Teddy Roosevelt: Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: Listen, Octavus, you gotta stop that!
Octavius: It's "Octavius", Mary.

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Larry: All right! Let's do this, people! And... animals! And... weird faceless puppet creatures!

Night at the Museum
Night at the Museum

Teddy Roosevelt: Anything's posible Lawrence. If it can be dreamed, it can be done. Hence the twenty-foot jackal staring right at you.
[Larry starts to look]
Teddy Roosevelt: Don't make eye contact!