Jarhead
Jarhead

D.I. Fitch: What the fuck are you even doing here?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, I got lost on the way to college, sir.

Jarhead
Jarhead

[last lines]
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: A story. A man fires a rifle for many years. and he goes to war. And afterwards he comes home, and he sees that whatever else he may do with his life - build a house, love a woman, change his son's diaper - he will always remain a jarhead. And all the jarheads killing and dying, they will always be me. We are still in the desert.

Jarhead
Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [the Doors' "Break on Through" being played on a flying by helicopter] That's Vietnam music... can't we get our own music?

Jarhead
Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [voice over narration] Every war is different, every war is the same.

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Jarhead

Staff Sgt. Sykes: [Sgt. Sykes is directing the recruits on how to judge distances] You take what you know, and then you multiply. Please don't use your dicks. They're too small, and I can't count that high. I don't wanna hear, "400,000 inches."

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Jarhead

Sgt. Siek: [to the Marines] We've all been taught that; "Thou shalt not kill." But hear this: FUCK-THAT-SHIT!

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Jarhead

Sgt. Siek: Now to the rest of you, do you have what it takes to be the meanest, the cruelest, the most sadist unforgiving mother fuckers in God's cruel kingdom?
All Marines: Yes, Staff Sergeant.
Sgt. Siek: Will you be able to one day say, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the baddest mother

fucker in the God damn valley?"
All Marines: Yes, Staff Sergeant.
Sgt. Siek: We shall fucking see.

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Jarhead

Fowler: [in showers, pointing at another marine] Hey, look! It's a cock, but smaller!

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Jarhead

D.I. Fitch: Are you eyeballing me with those baby-blues? Are you?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, no, sir!
D.I. Fitch: Are you in love with me, Swofford?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, no, sir!
D.I. Fitch: Oh, you don't think I look good in my uniform, Swofford?
Anthony

'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, the Drill Instructor looks fabulous in his uniform, sir!
D.I. Fitch: Oh, so you're gay then and you love me! Huh?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, I'm not gay, sir!
D.I. Fitch: You got a girlfriend, Swafford?
Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: Sir, yes, sir!
D.I.

Fitch: Guess again motherfucker, Jody's banging her right now! Get on your face and give me twenty five for all the times she's gonna get fucked this month! Down on your face!

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Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [seeing the flames of the burning oil fields] The Earth is bleeding.

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Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [voice over narration] A flashlight was a moonbeam. A pen was an ink stick. My mouth was a cum receptacle. A bed was a rack. A wall was a bulkhead. A shirt was a blouse. A tie was still a tie, and a belt a belt. But many other things would never be the same.

Jarhead
Jarhead

Sgt. Siek: [looking at Oil Fires] I could be working with my brother right now. He's got a dry-wall business in Compton. Does the inside of office buildings; you know, the metal studs. I could be his partner, said he'd give me that brand new Dodge Ram Charger. You know, the 318 Magnum? The beast? All indoor work, too, lots of AC. I could sleep with my wife every night, fuck her,

maybe; take my kids to school every morning. And I'd run his crews, too, probably increase productivity 40 to 50%. Make $100K a year. Do you know why I don't? Because I love this job. I thank God for every fucking day he gives me in the corps, oorah.

Jarhead
Jarhead

Kruger: [after being offered nuts on an airplane] Are these warm nuts?
Stewardess: No, I believe they're room temperature.
Kruger: [takes the nuts] Well, maybe later you can come and warm up my nuts.
Stewardess: You know, I don't really like the little ones.

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Jarhead

Cortez: I'm the midget, huh? Let's go you squishy-faced retard!
Fowler: [dead serious] Don't you ever call me squishy-face!

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Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [voice over narration] Suggested techniques for the Marine to use in the avoidance of boredom and loneliness: Masturbation. Rereading of letters from unfaithful wives and girlfriends. Cleaning your rifle. Further masturbation. Rewiring Walkman. Arguing about religion and meaning of life. Discussing in detail, every woman the Marine has ever fucked.

Debating differences, such as Cuban vs. Mexican, Harleys vs. Hondas, left- vs. right-handed masturbation. Further cleaning of rifle. Studying of Filipino mail order bride catalog. Further masturbation. Planning of Marine's first meal on return home. Imagining what the Marine's girlfriend and her man Jody are doing in the hay, or in the alley, or in a hotel bed.

Jarhead
Jarhead

Troy: Fuck politics. We're here. All the rest is bullshit.
All Marines: Yeah.

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Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: I wanted the pink mist.

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Jarhead

D.I. Fitch: Jesus, Joseph and doggy-style Mary!

Jarhead
Jarhead

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford: [voice over narration] For most problems the Marine is issued a solution. If ill, go to sickbay. If wounded, call a Corpsman. If dead, report to graves registration. If losing his mind, however, no standard solution exists.

Jarhead
Jarhead

Troy: I love it out here, this is what I want - 'cause I count for something. Back home, I'd be working some nowhere job, nobody'd even know I was alive. 'We burn the fat off our souls,'... Hemingway said that.