How the Grinch Stole Christmas Quotes

The Grinch: The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the

loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?

The Grinch: All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. ACTION!

[Max knocks the red nose off]
The Grinch: BRILLIANT! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.

The Grinch: I tell you Max, I don't know why I ever leave this place. I've got all the company I need right here.
[indicates himself]
The Grinch: [shouts] Hello?
Echo: Hello.
The Grinch: How are you?
Echo: How are you?
The Grinch: I asked you first.
Echo: I asked you first.

The Grinch: Oh right, that's REALLY mature, saying exactly what I say.
Echo: ...Saying exactly what I say.
The Grinch: I'm an idiot!
Echo: You're an idiot!
The Grinch: [whispering] Alright fine! I'm not talking to you anymore! In fact, I'm going to whisper! So that by the time my voice reverbarates off the walls, and

gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
[pause]
Echo: You're an idiot!

Cindy Lou Who: Santa?
The Grinch: WHAT?
Cindy Lou Who: Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy, but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
The Grinch: SWEET? You think he's sweet?
Cindy Lou Who: [nods] Merry Christmas, Santa.

[goes upstairs]
The Grinch: Nice kid... baaad judge of character.

The Grinch: That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been *about*. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your *garbage*. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice...
[shouts]

The Grinch: The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue." Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this *whole* Christmas season is...
[shouts again]
The Grinch: ...stupid, stupid, stupid!
[calmer]
The Grinch: There is, however, one

teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful...
[holds up mistletoe]
The Grinch: Mistletoe.
[puts mistletoe over his butt]
The Grinch: Now pucker up and kiss it, Whoville!
[wiggles mistletoe]
The Grinch: Boi-yoi-yoi-yoing!

The Grinch: Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine: [computer voice] You have no messages.
The Grinch: Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's Answering Machine: [Grinch's voice] If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.

The Grinch: Hmm. Oh well.

Narrator: So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave, hating the Whos.
The Grinch: [opens phone book] Alphabetically!
[looks into book]
The Grinch: Aadvarkian Abakeneezer Who, I...
[yelling]
The Grinch: HATE YOU!
[looks into book again]
The

Grinch: Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate *you*.
[looking into book]
The Grinch: Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. LOATHE ENTIRELY!

The Grinch: It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.
Narrator: The the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
The Grinch: Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...
Narrator: He thought
The Grinch: ...means a

little bit more.