Jonathan: Are these monsters gonna kill me?
Dracula: Not as long as they think you're a monster.
Jonathan: That's kinda racist.
Dracula: [against the window of an airplane, sees a Twilight movie playing] This is how we're represented, unbelievable.
Jonathan: I'm Dracula, Bleh, bleh-bleh!
Dracula: I've never said that in my life. 'Bleh, bleh-bleh.' I don't know where that comes from!
Gremlin Lady: Excuse me. One of your piranhas in the lake is very rude. He ate my sister-in-law.
Martha: Your zing will come, cherish it my love, love mommy.
Jonathan: [on opposite sides of an airplane window] Drac, I can't understand you!
Dracula: What? My hands in a tan shoe?
[Quasimodo kicks a suit of armor in the groin]
Suit of Armor: Ow! Why did that hurt me?
Wayne: What? Now there's no sheep in the road. Let's go.
Murray: That was pretty sick, man.
Wayne: You eat lamb chops, it's the same thing.
Jonathan: Yeah, well, I was afraid your dad was gonna suck all the blood out of my body if I didn't say that.
Dracula: I wouldn't have... No, he's right, I would have done that.
Mavis: Dad.
Dracula: I was wrong, Devil-chops.
Dracula: Listen to me, you are never to return here. Your are to stay away and tell no humans about this place. Or I will track you down, and suck every ounce of blood from you body, until you look like a deflated whoopee cushion!
Jonathan: Look at me, I'm a Frankenhomie!
Eunice: English, please! Your voice is REALLY annnoying!
Dracula: [thinks Murray passed gas] You're kidding me. Right in my lobby?
Murray: Drac, I swear, man, I don't run like that.
Mavis: Is it true, are you a human?
[repeated line]
Mavis: Holy rabies!
Mavis: Ha-what-what?
