Entourage Quotes

Ari Gold: I didn't go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer a question without a question, basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix, or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that

would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we're clear, I don't care about ANY of them. They're all just a number, like wife number one and therapist number seven. GOOD DAY!

Ari Gold: Lloyd, do you have Vince?
Lloyd: No, I have Drama, and he says he's been authorized to tell you that Vince will not speak to you until he, Drama, has a job.
Ari Gold: Really?
Lloyd: Really.
Ari Gold: Really?
[storms out of his office and into a conference]

Ari Gold: People. staff meeting has been canceled. You all have one goal today, to get Vincent Chase's brother, Johnny Chase, a job. Any job. I don't care if it's a porn shoot in which he is being gang-raped by a gaggle of silverbacked apes; if there are cameras rolling, everybody wins. Ten grand to anyone who can deliver this to me, TODAY.

Ari Gold: Where the fuck is Peter Cole's office? Right here?
[Ari storms into the room]
Ari Gold: James Cameron is directing "Aquaman"?
Surprised Kid: That's great! That's awesome!
Ari Gold: That's "awesome," huh? You didn't think to bring it up in the fucking staff meeting? An e-mail? A yellow fucking sticky-something?

Surprised Kid: I... I didn't know I was supposed to know that kind of stuff.
Ari Gold: Well, what is it you're supposed to know, do you think? What the fuck do we pay you for? To get your agency card laminated so you can go to Shelter and try to fuck Mischa Barton?
Surprised Kid: I didn't... I didn't think...
Ari Gold: Let me tell you

something. You don't have to say anything, you know why? Cause you pick up all your stuff, because you're mother-fucking fired!
[Ari storms out]
CAA Assistant: What happened?
Surprised Kid: I don't know. I came in to drop off Peter's mail and Mr. Gold fired me. My life is over!

Terence: [about to fire Ari after discovering his attempted coup] People! We have a traitor in our midst. Let this be a lesson to all of you.
Ari Gold: You're making a very big mistake, Terrence.
Terence: Oh, that's what Arthur Jensen said in 1973. He was the first conspirator I ever dealt with. Try finding him now, Ari, he's selling

auto insurance in Reseda.
Ari Gold: Ok, people. Most of you are sitting there, and you're looking at this good-looking old man, and you're wondering, "Who the FUCK is he?" and you know what, that's exactly what you should be doing. You all know who's been running this company for the past eight years. And you know that when I go, in no time, you will be repping nobodys like

Bill from The Apprentice. No one needs to make a decision right now. I will be starting my own agency. Two very important rules will apply: to make everyone on the ground floor rich, and to burn this motherfucking place to the ground. Lloyd, are you with me?
[Lloyd says nothing. For the first time, Ari's cocky demeanor falters]
Ari Gold: Lloyd, what are you doing?

You and me, we have a special bond. Come on.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that you will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or my sexual orientation
Ari Gold: I can't swear to that, but I promise that I will always apologize after.

Ari Gold: From now on, ask my permission before you bang one of my assistants.
Eric: How'd you know that?
Ari Gold: 'Cause I know all, and I could have told you that this would end badly. Now I gotta fire her so you don't feel weird.
Eric: No. Don't fire her.
Ari Gold: All right. Well,

I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.

Ari Gold: I thought you already were his manager, because believe me, I would not put up with this much shit from anyone who wasn't.
Eric: Yeah, I know I am, but I want to do it for real, you know? I want to have the conversation, lock it in.
Ari Gold: So you come to me for advice. I'm gonna fucking cry. All right, here's what you

do. You deal with talent the same way that you deal with women. You have to make them believe that they need you more then you need them.
Eric: He doesn't need me that much.
Ari Gold: Of course he doesn't need you. You're fucking worthless. I could get a million morons to come in here and do the job. That's not the point.

Eric: Then what is the point, Ari?
Ari Gold: The point is that he is an insecure fuck, like all beautiful-but-handed-everything-on-a-silver-platter people. He doesn't trust anyone in this world but you. You've been born into royalty, baby. You know it. Now you just gotta be thankful and wear the crown.

Ari Gold: [leaves his office] Where am I going?
Emily: Ari, you're twenty minutes late already. Ari, I need to talk to you about something.
Ari Gold: Walk with me.
Emily: [starts walking] Vince and the guys are going to a party at Josh Weinstein's.
Ari Gold: Who's Josh Weinstein?

Emily: Are you joking? He's your old assistant.
Ari Gold: I have *many* old assistants.
Emily: All right, two before me. Before Jackie, after Jerod.
Ari Gold: Ah-ha, my "J" phase. I think I fired him for stealing pens. Why do I care about Josh?
Emily: Well, now he's an agent at Triad.

And he's the one who gave the boys Queens Boulevard.
[Ari spins around and starts back to his office]
Ari Gold: That's why no more guys! You fire a guy, you create a rival. You fire a woman, you create a housewife.
Emily: That's sweet. You're still late.
Ari Gold: Hold all my calls. And get Mini-Vince on the phone.