Barbara: *Movies and porno are different, Jon. They give awards for movies.*
Don Jon: They give awards for porn too.
[last lines]
Don Jon: This fuckin' lady! Now I don't usually like it when a girl looks me right in the eye, and this girl does that a lot. But I don't know what it is about her, when she does it, I don't mind. I just look right back at her, and pretty soon, I'm hard as a fuckin' rock. It's like she knows what I'm thinkin', or I know what she's thinkin'. I don't know, it's a
two-way thing. Fuckin' love it! And I don't mean love like, oh I love her or wanna marry her, definitely not thinkin' about all that shit. And she's not either... she can't. I guess I just mean love like, you know like... we're making love. And while we're doing it, all the bullshit does fade away, and it's just me and her right there, and yeah I do lose myself in her. And I can tell she's losing
herself in me. And we're just fuckin'... lost together.
Don Jon: For the next few minutes all the bullshit fades away and the only thing in the world is those tits... dat ass... the blowjob... the cowboy, the doggie, the money shot and that's it, I don't gotta say anything, I don't gotta do anything. I just fucking lose myself.
Don Jon: Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. Since last Sunday I had sexual relations out of wedlock two times. I also watched pornographic videos and masturbated seventeen times. For these, and all the sins in my life, I am sorry.
Danny: Listen, I don't like more than a handful of titty. No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I love it, but more than that, it's like, no! Shit starts to remind me of my mom or something.
Don Jon: Jesus Christ!
Bobby: Yeah, your mom do got some big-ass titties.
Danny: Don't talk about my mother.
Bobby: You brought up your mother.
Barbara: [Jon is dry humping Barbara] Jon?
Don Jon: Yeah?
Barbara: I can't let you come inside just yet. No, 'cause I don't know what that would mean. You know? I don't want to do anything unless it means something. Mm... Don't you think it's always better when it means something?
Don Jon: Yeah.
Barbara: I think you should go back to school, baby.
Don Jon: What?
Barbara: Yeah, come on. Just a night class. Just get your degree.
Don Jon: Oh!
Barbara: You would be so sexy with a real job.
Don Jon: Mm-hm! Yeah...
Barbara: So, what do
you say? You, me and our friends, we go out sometime?
Don Jon: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Barbara: Yeah? And our families meet, huh? Yeah?
Don Jon: Yeah!
Barbara: And you take one night class for me, baby? One little class? Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
Don Jon: Yeah! Oh!
Barbara: And after that, are you going to fuck me in my tight ass, baby? Please?
Don Jon: Jesus!
Barbara: And maybe cum at my face? Huh, Jon? Do you want to cum at my face?
Don Jon: Oh, yes!
Barbara: Then come on, baby, cum for me! Cum! Cum!
Barbara: [Jon comes
on Barbara's jeans] Mm-hm! Uh-huh. Nice.
Don Jon: Oh, Jesus!
Barbara: You're so cute. Call me.
Don Jon: You bet I will.
Don Jon: There's only a few things I really care about in life. My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My boys. My girls. And my porn. I know, the last one sounds weird, but I'm just bein' honest. Nothin' else does it for me the same way, not even real pussy. And I gotta plenty of that... Why do you think my boys call me 'The Don'?